


Dirty Secret

by cinnamon_printemps



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Bad Parenting, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Bottom Zayn, Break Up, Daddy Kink, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Drug Use, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Homophobia, Love, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Party, Partying, Past Relationship(s), Rutting, Secret Relationship, Smut, Snogging, Teasing, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Harry, Top Louis, Top Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-13 14:55:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 41,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3385940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamon_printemps/pseuds/cinnamon_printemps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything that happens, happens for a reason.<br/>But not knowing the reason can break you and turn you into a completely different person.<br/>Harry was broken and a completely different person than he has been two years ago, when he meets the person again he never  thought he'd see again.<br/>He swore to never break again. What about giving back a taste of their own medicine?</p><p>Or:<br/>Louis disappeared out of Harry's life. He's never seen again until they meet again. But everything has changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> Well...
> 
> Its a long story. 
> 
> So lean back, grab some popcorn, read, enjoy the smut (there are tons of it bc I love it)
> 
> xx

Soft kisses placed all over his naked skin. The other boys tongue left a wet trail on his neck as he kissed down to his collarbone. His mouth feverish and quick against his soft skin. The older boy tugged his t-shirt up and pulled it off. 

He ran his fingers over the Youngers body, tried to touch every part of his body, every curve, every inch of skin, like it was the last time he got the chance to feel his body under his fingertips. He lowered himself, pressing kisses from the chest down to the stomach, making the younger lad shiver and moan in pleasure. 

He stuck his fingers into the boxers and pulled them down, caressed the skin over his hips with his tongue. The younger one moaned again, his fingers disappeared into the older ones hair, tugging at the roots. 

“C’mon. Please…” he begged and the older one growled against his hot skin, trying to take it slow. 

“We take it slowly, babe.” The other answered, breathing against the hard member in front of him. 

He wrapped one hand around the hard cock, slowly moving and slipped one finger in the younger boy. A loud moan and a hissed “Now!” taught him to go quicker. And he did as wished, speeding up, feeling his own climax already coming. 

“I know you like it hard babe. You want it now?” His voice huskily and full of lust. 

The younger one just nodded, unable to speak anymore. The elder pushed himself up to kiss the other boy, slamming hard into him at the same time. A load moan mixed with a scream escaped the younger ones full and red lips and he tried to keep him quiet, pressing his lips against the others. 

He started moving his hips faster and faster, knowing what the younger lad loved. He tugged at his curly hair, feeling his nails scratching over his back and leaving his mark on his tanned skin. He pressed his lips on the soft skin of his neck, sucking at his sweet spot, nearly pushing him over the edge. He looked up and recognized the love bite he left on his neck. Everybody should know that the curly haired boy is his. He speeded up, feeling sweat running down his temple and his naked body, the heat between the boys nearly unbearable.

“My dirty little boy…” he whispered in his ear, slamming one last time hard into him, pushing him over the edge and made him scream out his name in pleasure.

At the same time he reached his climax and collapsed down on the younger boy, pulling him towards his chest, wrapping his arms around him and drifted to sleep.

***

The next day, the curly haired boy stretched and slowly turned around to cuddle to his boyfriend’s chest. But the other side of the bed was all empty and cold. He blinked sleepily and managed to get out of bed, hoping his boyfriend would sit in the kitchen with a cup of his favorite tea and some breakfast. 

But this room was also empty. No lad with feathery brown hair. The curly head frowned and looked at the other rooms in their flat. 

Empty, empty, empty. 

He was all alone. A terrible feeling crawled through his stomach and left a bitter taste in his mouth. He quickly ran back to the bedroom and tore the doors of the wardrobe open. Empty. Only his right side was filled with clothes. No red chinos, no striped shirts and no suspenders there. 

He rushed out into the floor searching for his boyfriend’s typical vans and TOMS. But no shoes lay scattered across the floor. They were gone. 

He was gone. 

And nothing left what could remind that someone had ever lived here except the curly haired boy. Like he never existed at all. 

The green eyed boy sat down in disbelieves and the thought which was most prominent, was the only question that matters: Why?

Why was he gone?   
Why did he leave him?  
Why didn’t he even leave a note for him?

He buried his face in his hands as the tears started running down his face. You all can picture how broken the young boy was.


	2. Chapter 01

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when it happens.  
> Awkward moments, alcohol and a game of truth and dare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Zayn if freaking hot. And Harry too. So why not put them into one bed with some alcohol and the wish to forget?

2 years later

“Oh c’mon, Zayn! Give me my beanie back!” He yelled at a raven haired boy, who stood at the door, throwing his brown beanie up in the air and catching it again.

“No way, Harold. Why do you even wear these things?” Zayn asked and threw the beanie up one more time. 

The curly haired lad sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Because they hold my curls back. That’s why. Now give it back to me.” He reached one hand out for the beanie but his black haired friend just grinned and shook his head.

“Why don’t you get them a cut, curly?” 

Harry rolled his emerald green eyes and smirked at his friend.  
“You exactly know why. You love running your fingers through my curls while I fuck you as hard as I can. And all the others feel the same.” He whispered and reached out his hand once again, making a little wink with his fingers.

Zayn blushed and handed the brown beanie back. “Yeah yeah. Shut up. I still don’t understand why you hook up with every single lad crossing your way.” He sat down on the couch, crisscrossing his legs and eyed Harry as he walked over to him and sat down next to him. 

“I told you several times, Zayn. Do I really have to repeat myself again?” He was annoyed that his friend brought up this topic again. 

He knew Zayn liked him. But as a friend. Yeah sometimes they hook up but that’s all. And Zayn cared for Harry. That’s why he wanted him to be happy. And the raven haired boy knew that Harry wasn’t happy. Not at all. 

“I know that some guy fucked up your past. But it couldn’t be SO fucked up, that you resist dating a nice boy.” Zayn tried to explain.

Harry jumped up the couch, his green eyes glared at Zayn in anger. “You don’t know how fucked up it was. You don’t know how broken I was. And you’ll never now. So shut the fuck up and mind your own business.” He ran out of the living room, slamming the door shut.

Zayn sighed. Always the same discussion. Since Harry got his roommate 4 month ago they had this discussion every single week. He stood up, following Harry to his room. He stood there, leaned against the doorframe watching his friend sitting on the ground, doing push-ups and sit-ups to calm him down. 

“If you are here to start talking about this shit again, you should know that I would use you instead of the normal punching bag to calm down.” Harry warned him.

Zayn smiled a little bit. “No. I won’t bring this topic up again. I promise.” Not now.  
Harry nodded, stopped doing push-ups and turned around to face his friend.

“You come with me? It’s a party at Niall’s.” Zayn asked.

The curly haired lad cocked is head. “Are any boys there?” Zayn nodded and a smug smile crept onto his lips. “Sure thing. You know Niall. A lot of freshmen will come.”

Harry nodded. “Don’t know why everybody gets so good with him. Just freshmen? I’m feeling more like a senior one.” 

Zayn laughed. “Ah, some experienced guy preferred tonight? Well, I know someone's coming tonight. I’m sure he is your type. He is round about two years older if I remember it right.” The raven haired boy grinned. 

Harry pushed himself up off the floor. “Then why are we still here?”

***

Niall’s flat was crowded and Harry and Zayn tried to push their way through the students. Harry turned around to Zayn making a sign to ask if his friend would like something to drink. He nodded and as they reached the kitchen they took some red cups filled with alcohol.

Harry took a sip and squeezed his eyes shut as the liquor burned down his throat. He turned around to his friend. “Now, where is this mysterious boy? You didn’t tell me anything about him.” He asked.

Zayn shrugged. “That’s because I don’t know him so good. I saw him the last two years on the campus. He is a good friend with Niall. And he hooks up a lot. So… perfect match for you, isn’t he?” 

They emptied their cups and took another one. The time went by drinking loads of alcohol, dancing on tables, watching girls losing their inhibitions and the first students disappearing in several rooms or just sitting on the couch making out.

Harry loved this dumb student parties. Every weekend he is at another, watching the people, picking one lucky guy out and taking him with him home. This party wasn’t any different from the party last weekend. Or the weekend before. He filled up his cup again; the alcohol already making him dizzy and he knew he’ll get damned shit-faced tonight. 

He danced together with not-sober Zayn on a table, his hands on his friend’s stomach, slowly gliding down. “Oh c’mon Haz. Not tonight.” Zayn slurred and pushed Harry’s hands away with a grin. The curly haired lad frowned but shrugged his shoulders. 

“Truth or Dare! Come over you two lovebirds!” A voice with a thick Irish accent yelled and as Harry looked down he saw Niall pulling him towards the couch. He rolled his eyes and sat down next to Zayn, his vision a little bit blurred already. 

He took another sip from his cup, his gaze glued on the bottle in the middle. He wasn’t interested to know who will play with them. Just some random guys from school. The bottle was turned and ended pointing to Zayn. He sighed and chose ‘Dare’ what was commanded with a loud rumble. 

Niall frowned, acting like he was thinking. “Let’s start with some easy things. I dare you to kiss Jace.” He pointed to a blonde lad, sitting across Zayn. The raven haired boy leaned forward and placed a simple kiss on Jace’s lips. Niall glanced at Harry, hoping he’ll get jealous or something. The Irish guy knew that Harry sometimes fucks Zayn, but he still believes that there was more than just a fuck. 

Harry chuckled and shook his head. No reaction. Niall pouted and then turned away, talking to a guy standing in a corner sipping from his beer. Harry’s attention got cough by the spinning bottle. Some more people had to kiss each other, a girl had to show them her BH and it turned out that some guy named Luke was still a virgin. A load of alcohol was drowned and they all were drunk as fuck as the bottle stopped at Harry. His eyes widened in shock. Niall squeaked. 

“Truth or dare, Harold?” He slurred. Harry was so drunk he couldn’t even think straight, shrugged and managed to get the word ‘Dare’ out of his mouth. Niall pointed at the guy, who stood in the corner some time ago and who joined them. “I dare you to take three body shots off my friend Lou right here.” He grinned at Harry and waved with a bottle of Tequila. 

Harry’s view was so blurred; he couldn’t even see the boy’s face clearly. He just watched him pulling off his shirt and lay down. “Lick his neck, Harry.” Niall commanded and as Harry did, Niall put down some salt there. He put some Tequila in the boy’s navel and gave him a lemon to hold it between his lips. 

“You know how to do it, right?” Niall asked and Harry nodded, leaning forward. He took the tequila, licked away the salt and was about to take the lemon from between the boys lips as he recognized his face. His eyes widened in shock and the jerked back. His heart beat faster and he swore he could hear his blood rushing through his veins. 

Niall shook his head. “Harry, I though you know how to do this!” Harry’s eyes were glued on the boy’s face. The boy sat up, put on his shirt again and tried to avoid Harrys gaze. 

Harry never though that he would see this face again. He gulped, pushing the memories back and tried to act like nothing happens. Obviously he didn’t remember him. Or recognize him. So Harry got back to his cocky self and shot the boy a glare. “I’m not finished. Lay back down.” He commanded. 

The boy’s eyes switched from Niall to Harry; not sure what to do. Niall nodded joyfully. “Sure. Lay back down, Lou.” The boy rolled his eyes, pulling of his shirt again, still not saying a simple word. He got some tequila again in his navel, some salt on his neck and a new lemon between his lips. 

Harry leaned forward again. The drunken game “truth or dare” was all about a good show. And Harry wanted to give them a good show. He took the tequila again, licked the salt slowly off his neck and bites the lemon, his eyes connected with the boy’s blue ones. And he knew that Lou recognized him. He knew who Harry was. And by the way he started breathing faster Harry could tell he remember him and what they did very well. 

Harry held up three fingers. “Next round, please.” Niall nodded. More tequila, more salt, another lemon. Harry lowered himself down to Lou’s stomach, opened his mouth a little bit, breathing against the boy’s heated skin, his eyes still locked with the others. 

He took the tequila, licking once over the guy’s navel, making him shot his eyes and Harry saw that he still had an effect on this boy. He slowly went up to his neck, licking off the salt and bite the lemon again, licking with his tongue over Lou’s lips. He could hear him gasp.

He spit out the lemon, pushed himself up and reached out for Zayn. “I’m done here. Let’s go, Z.” Zayn nodded, stumbled up, clinched to Harrys Shirt to avoid falling over. “You like the body-shot-boy? It’s the guy I talked about earlier.” He slurred in Harry’s ear. 

Harry looked back to Lou, the guy sat next to Niall his shirt back on, his eyes glued on Harry and he could tell that Louis was turned on. It could not be overlooked. His boner was obviously in his tight jeans.

“Yeah, I guess he would be a good fuck.” He mumbled and turned around again.

***

“Harry! Wait a sec.” He heard someone yelling as they was about to leave the party. Harry stopped immediately as he heard the voice. His voice. Harry felt the anger deep in his stomach, bubbling like a Vulcan and he hoped for everyone not to be around when he explodes. He turned around, one eyebrow lifted and with an annoyed expression on his face.

“What’s up.. eh … Lou?” He asked, pretending not to remember his name. He meant nothing to him. Not anymore. He had fucked up everything. He didn’t deserve it to be remembered. 

“Uhm hi. How are you?” Lou stood there, shifted from one foot to the other, quite nervous. Harry frowned. “Very good, because of my friend Zayn here. Nothing can make me happier than a good fuck, right?” He winked at Lou, grabbed Zayn’s arm, pulling him out and placing his hand on Zayn’s well showed ass; leaving Louis completely speechless back at the party.

***

Back at their flat Harry was still furious and wanted to destroy something. He wanted to destroy somebody. He wanted destroy him. He wanted to destroy Louis. As he has destroyed him once. 

“Zayn? Do you mind some distraction?” He asked and grinned at his black haired friend.

Zayn mirrored his grin. “Depends on what you have in mind.” He stepped closer to the curly haired lad, pulling of his brown beanie and tugging his fingers in his curls.

Harry closed his eyes as a little moan escaped his full and plump lips. Zayn got closer, leaning his forehead against Harry’s. 

Harry’s eyes shot open and he pushed Zayn onto the bed. “Make me forget.” He whispered and followed him, pulling up Zayn’s shirt.


	3. Chapter 02

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter up! Hope you like it :)

Harry hurried through the corridors to get to his locker. He was late. As always. Zayn had left the flat earlier to avoid the awkward silence after spending the night together. It became their routine a long time ago. They fuck, they sleep, Zayn leave, they meet again at school, everything back to normal. 

Harry took out his books, slamming his locker shut and made his way to his class. Still tired as fuck. Maybe he should have skipped school today. He entered his classroom, mumbling some lousy excuse for being late and sat down at his chair in the back. 

“Had a long night, huh?” The boy next to him asked with a small grin. The curly head just nodded putting his head down on his arms trying to sleep for a little while. He knew the teachers don’t bother him anymore. They got used to his shit. 

“Not so long at all. But very active, you know.” Harry winked at the boy, earning a frown and a shoulder shrug before the other boy turned around, paying attention to the teacher. Harry sighed. This guy was so inhibited. Maybe he should take him to the next party. Harry tried to check him out as inconspicuous as possible. 

He looked quite hot. Light brown hair, brown big eyes (reminding him of a puppy), plumb full lips, and a nice biceps. A sporty guy, Harry guessed. Not bad. The sporty once had always a good endurance. 

“Don’t ever think about it.” Harry’s head shot up. 

“Don’t think about what?” He cocked his head and lifted an eyebrow. A little laugh escaped the other boy’s mouth. 

“You are a smart boy, Harry Styles. You exactly know what I’m talking about. Stop checking me out. I’ll never hook up with you.” He grinned and Harry leaned back in his seat. 

“Don’t say that. That sounds like a good challenge for me. But, one point for you. You know who I am and I still don’t know your name. “Harry crossed his arms over his chest eying the brown haired lad. 

The other reached out his hand. “I’m Liam. And I can’t imagine that anyone don’t know who you are.” He smiled and Harry shook his hand. 

“Nice to meet you, Liam.” Harry liked Liam immediately. He seemed like a good listener and a good guy. Maybe they’ll become friends. 

Liam didn’t responded and so Harry drifted back to his thoughts. Liam said he couldn’t imagine one person on this school not knowing him. So Louis had known he was here. He knew it the whole time. Harry’s anger started bubbling up again and he held his pencil with such a tight grip, that he broke it in two pieces. Liam shot him a confused glare. 

***

At lunch Harry met Zayn and they walked together to the cafeteria. Harry told Zayn about his new soon to be friend Liam and that he liked him right away. The raven haired boy was kind of proud of his friend, finding someone not just to fuck. That’s really rare and there are times Zayn was glad that he was Harrys friend and not a stranger that he used and throw out right after. The only thing Zayn had to handle was Harry’s anger about his fucked up past. He barely knew what happened but he tried to avoid this topic since Harry nearly beat him up for bringing this topic up again. 

They got some pizza for lunch and sat down at a table. Zayn eyed his moody friend. His mood swings got worse since he met this boy at Niall’s party. Zayn thought that this guy would be a perfect match for Harry because he was also known as a guy who hooks up with everybody and he looked like he was Harry’s type. Smaller than the curly haired boy but a little bit sassy and with a beautiful face. And Zayn could tell that there was something between this two boys but he couldn’t put his finger on it what it was. He sighed and gave up thinking about something he’ll never understand correctly. 

Harry ate his pizza without saying a simple word. After lunch he walked next to Zayn down the corridor still captured in his thoughts. Zayn didn’t say anything and he was glad about that. The raven haired boy knew when he has to leave him thinking. That’s one reason he liked him so much. He couldn’t think about another best friend. Niall was a good friend, too. But he’s always a little bit too active, too bubbly. 

“Harry! Wait!” He snapped out of his thoughts, exchanging a short glance with Zayn. Louis caught up and stood next to Harry, completely ignoring Zayn. The raven haired boy cleared his throat. “I gotta go. See you later, Harry.” And with those words he walked away. 

“How was your day?” Louis asked and cracked a smile. Harry looked at him with an uninterested expression. He pointed at the walking Zayn. “Look at him. The way he walk should tell you, that it was great. Until now.” Louis gulped and picked at his fingers. 

Harry shrugged his shoulders and was about to leave as Louis grabbed his arm, pulling him back and slamming him into the lockers. The smaller lad’s hands were placed on his chest sending heat through Harry’s body. Louis came closer, stood up on his tiptoes. “I miss you Harry. I miss the old times.” He whispered in this ear, his lips brushing his earlobe. Oh, he was good. 

But Harry was better. He knew Louis. “Oh really, Louis? The past two years it didn’t seem like you missed me anyway. You left me, remember?” His voice confident and strong. 

Louis didn’t respond. He just let his fingertips stroke over Harry’s tattooed skin. “You have changed a little bit.” The smaller lad said. 

Harry just nodded. He didn’t feel the need to give him an answer. After a few minutes Harry cleared his throat. “If you are finished admiring me, then I prefer to go to my class. I don’t want to be late.” He pushed Louis away from him, walking down the corridor not spending a single look back.

***

The week went by without Louis showing up again. Zayn begged the whole week to throw a party on Friday and he cheered joyfully as Harry agreed. So their little flat was crowded with people and students by Friday night. Everybody getting wasted like every other weekend. 

Harry sat on the couch, bored sipping from his red cup full of alcohol. He looked around and saw Zayn making out with some random guy. He grinned. Too bad, no drunken sex tonight. His eyes snapped to the door as someone entered the room. Louis was here. Completely drunk. 

Harry walked to the kitchen, threw away his red cup, reaching for the whole bottle and emptied it half. If he want get through this then he definitely needs more alcohol. He was yet too sober to face Louis again. So he tried to avoid him till he emptied the whole bottle and grabbed another, not caring anymore what he was exactly drinking. 

Niall pulled him to the dance floor in the middle of the living room, pressing himself against Harry’s chest. Harry danced very intimacy with Niall; as he looked around. He spotted Louis sitting on the couch, his gaze (like always) glued on him. Harry grinned, the alcohol rushing through his veins. 

Louis Tomlinson, when I’m finished you will regret the day you left.

And with that thought he let the game began. He snugged closer to Niall, the Irish boy’s bum pressed against his crotch, both enjoying their dance. Niall turned around, wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck, pulling him down and pressed his lips against the curly haired ones. Their lips moved against each other, their tongues playing with each other, Harry’s hands going down to Niall’s ass, squeezing it. The blonde guy moaned against Harry’s lips and he smiled. This was what he was good at. Something he could never fail in. 

Someone interrupted them, tapping on Niall’s shoulder. “May I have the next dance?” Louis asked gently and smiled at Harry. The completely drunken curly head grinned and reached for Louis hip, pulling him closer. They danced, getting closer even if they though it would not be possible getting even closer, they managed it to get closer to each other than before. Louis arms were wrapped around Harry’s neck and his lips were pressed against his hot skin. The smaller lad let his hands wander down his chest and stomach to his pants. “I think we should go to your room, shouldn’t we?” Louis whispered and Harry grabbed his arm, leading him to his room.

Louis closed the door and locked it, then turned around and got closer to Harry again. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this.” He mumbled and tried to push Harry on the bed. 

Harry stood still, holding against Louis’ push and laughed. “Not this time, Lou.” With these words he turned their position and Louis found himself lying on the bed, Harry on top of him. He was surprised how dominant Harry was as he pulled off Louis’ shirt, throwing it to the ground, his pants followed right after. 

Louis moaned as Harry kissed his way from Louis neck over his chest, his stomach down to his hips. His tongue caressed the soft skin and Harry pulled down Louis boxers. Harry stroked his naked skin, leaving out his hardening member. The curly head lowered himself down, his lips right above Louis dick, breathing against it and making Louis shiver. He licked over the length and Louis shut his eyes close, his lips pressed together, trying to hold back a moan. Harry continued licking Louis cock, putting him completely in his mouth, his full lips wrapped around it and his tongue welcomed it to the heat of Harry’s mouth. Harry started bobbing his head up and down, slowly first, speeding up some times. Louis clenched his teeth, couldn’t hold back the moan anymore. 

Harry stopped, holding two fingers out to Louis mouth. “Suck.” He commanded. Louis blue eyes widened. Harry never talked to him like that before. It was always him. Always him talking dirty. Always him fucking Harry. Never the other way round. 

Harry shot him a glare. “I said suck, Louis.” He repeated and Louis wrapped his lips around Harry’s fingers, licking and sucking them. After a few seconds Harry pulled away. “Good boy.” He whispered. 

“Should I continue what I did before, Lou?” He asked. Louis nodded quickly. He would never want to stop Harry from giving him a blow job. Never. “I can’t hear you, Lou.” Harry’s voice was deep and raspy. 

“Y-Yes…” Louis managed to say.  
Harry lowered his mouth, again right above Louis hard member, his two fingers at Louis’ arse. 

“Yes what, Louis?” He asked.

“Y-Yes, b-blow m… me.” Louis gasped as Harry put his dick back in his mouth and pushed his two fingers inside him the same time. Harry moved his fingers quickly, hitting his prostate, his lips wrapped around Louis hard cock, making him scream out in pleasure. 

Harry felt Louis climax coming, pulled away, slamming his finger two more times into him and pushed him over the edge. Louis cum on his naked torso, sucking for air, his rib cage rising and falling quickly.

Harry stood up, turned around and left the room without looking back to Louis.   
He was so done with him.


	4. Chapter 03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH!  
> I was asleep last night for about 5 minutes and what happened????   
> We broke the 1000 000 retweet mark at Louis' "always in my heart" tweet.
> 
> WTF? I'm so proud to be part of this! It's like a revolution.

Harry didn't want to go back to the party. He didn't feel like drinking more alcohol and dancing with some random guys. He just wanted to go to sleep, feeling completely exhausted. 

Harry pushed his way through the crowd, trying not to get too much in touch with the completely drunken students. With a frown on his faced he went through his options for the night. He could go back to the party, getting completely wasted and maybe he would not remember a single thing the next morning. Or he could go back to Louis, fucking his brain out of him. Harry shook his head; he didn't like both of the options. So he decided to use Zayn's bedroom.

He pushed the door open, hissed at the couple, lying on the bed and making out. The girl and the boy escaped him as quick as possible. Harry locked the door, hoping no one will disturb him anymore. With a small sigh he fell down on the big bed, curling up to a little ball and falling immediately asleep. 

***

Loud pounding at the door woke Harry up. He blinked still half asleep as he got up and opened the door. Zayn stood there, his always perfectly styled raven black hair now a total mess, a purple red hickey on his neck and his lips swollen. 

"Well hello Z. Wish you a good morning. I see your night was great." Harry shot him a half smile, just wanting to lie down on the bed again. 

Zayn's dark brown eyes were glossy and he watched Harry trying to get completely awake. "What time is it, Z?" Harry asked his voice deep and huskily from sleep. Zayn loved his morning voice. Combined with his messed curls and this absolutely adorable sleepy look on his face; it made him even more fuckable than usual. 

The black haired guy stumbled in his room slamming the door shut, pushing Harry back on the bed. The curly haired lad chuckled. "Fucking time, I guess?" He couldn't say anything else, because Zayn pressed his lips against his, slipping his tongue in his mouth. Harry smirked into the kiss and zipped Zayn's pants open. 

***

A few hours later Harry woke up again, feeling some weigh on his chest and he blinked down. Zayn lying across him, his arms wrapped around his torso, his head snugged in Harry's chest, slowly breathing. Harry gulped. 

Zayn was supposed to leave the shared bed before Harry normally wakes up. Zayn was supposed not to sleep on his chest. Zayn was supposed not to wrap his arms around his chest. 

Harry started panicking, slowly pushing the sleeping boy off his body, picking up his clothes and rushed out of the room. Just in his brief boxers he made his way down the floor to his own room, stumbling over left cups and empty bottles. 

He pushed his door open, not paying attention if anybody was there. He peeked through a small gab at the door and locked it. He turned around to his bed, dropping his clothes and gasped as he found Louis sleeping on his bed. Curled up in a little ball of messy hair and tattooed skin. He wore his boxers and a jumper Harry wore this week at class. 

Louis' head bobbed up, blinking sleepy in his direction. As he recognized Harry standing there just in his boxers he sat up and tried to look away but totally failed. He checked out his ex-boyfriend standing there totally in shock not even trying to cover his body. Louis saw every single tattoo on his milky skin, the black ink standing out from the bright skin, the dark brown curls in a total mess, still a sleepy expression on his face, his green eyes widened. 

Harry cleared his throat. "What are you doing here?" His morning voice still deep and huskily but now there was an annoyed undertone. Louis stumbled up off the bed, slipping in his trousers. "M sorry. I've waited for you." Louis whispered. 

Harry lifted an eyebrow, his arms crossed over his bare chest. "Go Louis." He hissed.   
Louis opened his mouth about to say something but he kept quiet with a single look at Harry's face. He turned around, leaving the flat as quickly as possible, a strange feeling down in his stomach. He rushed out of the house towards his own flat. 

The cold air made him freeze and he snugged in Harry's jumper. He suddenly stopped, realizing that he still wore Harry's oversized jumper. His scent was everywhere around Louis. Harry was always prominent. Always there. 

And Louis fucked it up. He totally fucked it up.

***

At the same time Harry ran his hand through his hair, he plopped down on his bed his face turned up to the ceiling. He groaned, turned around and tried to go to sleep again. But nothing like that happened. He sighed, got up, slipped in a pair of grey sweatpants and a black V-neck tee starting to clean up the flat.

Zayn joined him with a big yawn, rubbing his eyes and tapped into the kitchen, opening the fridge, taking a quick look in and closing it again. He leaned on the table, face down and groaned. "What exactly happened last night?" He asked. Harry pushed a glass of water and some painkillers over to him. Zayn shot him a thankful glare and took them. "You already took a look in the mirror?" Harry lifted an eyebrow and smiled slightly. Zayn sat up and rushed into the bathroom. 

"OH MY GOD!" The raven haired boy came back, pointing at the hikey on his neck. "What the fuck? I'm looking like a high school slut." He gasped. 

Harry chuckled and started again tiding up the flat. "Z, you totally were like a high school slut. You hooked up with more than one guy last night." He yelled from the living room. 

He could hear Zayn hitting his head against the wall. "Do I really want to know with whom I hooked up?" He asked and stopped hitting his head against the wall. Harry laughed.   
"You could calm down. I was the last one. You were totally shit-faced last night. No wonder you don't remember anything." Zayn rushed over to him, pushing his index finger against Harry's chest. 

"You gave me this fucking hickey?" He yelled. 

Harry busted out in laugher. "Yeah sure. Do I look like I would suck you a bloody hickey? Wake up, Z." 

Zayn nodded and felled down on the couch. "My head is going to kill me. Chilling day today?" 

"Ordering some very bad junk food, coke and watching DVDs the whole day?" He asked. Zayn chuckled slightly. 

"Sometimes you act like a teenage boy, Styles. But sure thing." Harry plopped down next to his friend putting his feet onto the table in front of him. 

"A horny teenage boy. And I want some pizza." He reached for his mobile phone, calling the delivery service and ordered two large pepperoni pizza, watching Zayn putting in the first DVD. 

Harry fell asleep as they watched their sixth movie, snugged to Zayn's chest. The raven haired lad run his fingers through Harry's dark brown curls; both totally relaxed. A mobile started ringing and Zayn reached for it, waking the younger boy up. The raven haired boy handed his friend his mobile. "It's yours." Harry checked the Caller ID and pressed the red button as he didn't recognize the caller. 

He stood up, stretched and made his way to his room. "I'll go to sleep. See you tomorrow." He yawned and fell down on his bad, already asleep again.


	5. Chapter 04

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter up! Let's get it a little smutty shall we?

Harry breathed in the cold morning air and started to jog around the park. He put in his headphones, listening to some music and tried to clear his mind. He couldn't even remember a time he used his brain so often like since he met Louis again at Niall's little party. 

Everybody would say Harry had still some feelings for Louis. Some romantic feelings. Love in some way. But that was totally wrong. Everything that came in his mind when he thought of Louis was hate and anger. He still couldn't put a finger on it why the older boy left him. It bothers him and it broke him. 

Louis disappeared like he never existed in his life. Like they haven't been in love for more than three years. Like there never had been a "we" or an "us". 

And after two years of Harry trying to be brave and strong they met again. And it made Harry furious how Louis had the balls to tell him that he missed him. 

This fucking asshole didn't know what he came through. He didn't feel the pain of being erased out of someone’s life. He never had to pick up the damaged pieces of his broken heart and put them back together. He didn't care. 

And now it was Harry who didn't give a single fuck about how Louis felt and what happens with him. He was just a guy with whom Harry would have some fun. 

Harry stopped at a bench, sucking for air. Someone sat already on the bench, reading a thick novel, but Harry didn't care. Like always. He was a very selfish person. Harry turned his beanie and eyed up the other person. Definitely a guy. A small frame and with small graceful hands holding the novel with a thigh grip. 

Harry recognized these hands. These fingers. He remembered them very well. They made him already scream his name in pleasure as he reached his climax. Louis. It was always Louis. Harry grinned. Why not keep on playing his little game he started at the party? 

He slowly walked around the bench, stopped right behind the older boy. He sighed slightly, leaning forward, wrapping his arms around Louis' chest, letting his hands slid down his torso. "Good morning, Lou." He whispered and felt the older boy stiffened. 

"You shocked me Harry." He answered with a quiet voice. Harry just shrugged his shoulders. 

"What are you doing here?" Louis asked and tried to turn around to face Harry. "I went out for a jog. But right now something different crosses my mind…" He smiled innocently down to Louis. The feathery haired boy cocked his head with a frown on his face, his novel pressed against his chest. 

"You got a dirty mind, Harry." He grinned. "What's on your mind right now?"

Louis wouldn't be Louis if he wasn't interested in the dirty things Harry was thinking about. Louis always was interested in dirty things. 

"Well, we are all alone here. I just thought about work out a little bit different today. You looked so hot and so satisfied after I made you cum. After I gave you a blow job. After I wrapped my lips around your cock. Do you remember how my fingers felt in you? Was a nice feeling, wasn't it?" Harry whispered in Louis ear, biting gently in his earlobe causing Louis to shiver and moan slightly. 

"Did you like it, Lou?" The curly head asked. Louis just nodded. If he would try to answer right now he would just have moaned louder. 

Harry shook his head. "Nuh uh. I can't hear you, Louis. You have to open your mouth." 

Louis gulped. "Yeah, I liked it." He whispered. 

Harry grinned. "How far is your flat away from here?" Louis blue eyes widened as he realized what exactly crossed Harrys mind earlier. "Right above there." He pointed to the entry of the park, round about 500 meters away. Harry pulled Louis up on his feet.   
"C'mon Lou. You know what I want." Harry commanded and Louis followed. 

***

Harry pushed Louis against his main door, his hands gliding over his body, his lips on his neck, sucking at Louis' sweet spot, making him moan. Louis managed to open the door before Harry could fuck him right in the hallway. 

Louis led Harry into his bedroom, just to be pushed down on the bed, growling Harry above him. Louis pulled down Harry's beanie, tugging his fingers in Harry's soft curls. 

The younger boy kissed and sucked on Louis tanned skin, leaving more than a hickey on his neck. As Zayn said. Like a high school slut. 

Harry tugged off Louis shirt and opened his pants, tossing them on the floor. He put his hand between Louis' thighs already feeling his hard member. 

"Always so hard. Always so ready for me." The younger one whispered against Louis skin. 

Louis whimpered and moved his hip in Harry's direction wanting him to do something. Harry chuckled and pulled down Louis boxers. 

It felt like a throwback. Louis completely naked in front of him and he still full dressed. Both boys with a hard and arching member. Harry thanked god he didn't wore his tight jeans. That would be very painful right now. He pushed down his sweatpants together with his boxers and pulled away his shirt now as naked as Louis. 

He held again two fingers in front of Louis mouth. "You know the procedure, Louis. Suck it."   
He commanded and watched Louis following. 

He pushed his fingers into Louis. Again and again. Making the older one moan and scratching Harrys back leaving his bloody mark on his skin. 

"You. Know. What. I. Want." Harry hissed and pushed his fingers quicker into Louis with every word. 

"Say it." 

Louis gasped and squeezed his eyes shot. Harry lowered himself down his ex' heated body, caressing the soft skin above his hips. 

"Say it, Lou!" Harry said again, now sucking at Louis most sensitive area, still moving his fingers, hitting his prostate. 

"F-Fuck m-me, Harry." He moaned out loud and Harry crawled over Louis, placing his hard member against Louis bum. 

"With pleasure." He mumbled and slammed into Louis. 

The older lad screamed, half in pleasure half in pain. Harry started moving his hips against Louis, getting faster with every thrust. Louis moaned and gasped, his fingers tugging on the bed sheets. Harry’s chest and his back were covered in sweat as he slammed a few more times into Louis reaching his climax at the same time as the boy under him. 

The younger boy collapsed on the other one, rolled over to lie next to each other for just a moment. He felt his heart beating hard against his ribs. Louis turned around snugged against Harry’s chest, his arms wrapped around Harry's torso holding him tight. 

"Where have you been Friday night? I was waiting for you." Louis whispered softly. 

Harry suddenly sat up, pushing Louis away and putting his clothes back on.   
"I was with Zayn." He simply answered and reached for the door. 

"You are no longer the same as you were back then. Where did my dirty little boy go?" Louis voice sounded hurt and Harry hold on for a moment. 

"You broke this boy and took him with you as you left. He doesn't exist anymore." With these words he escaped Louis presence and slammed the door shut, quickly leaving Louis flat behind him.


	6. Chapter 05

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a new chapter! Took me long enough.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> xx

Harry sat down next to Liam and inspects the brown haired boy. Liam's eyes were shot and he rested his head on the table, arms crossed over his chest. He seemed very tired.

"Had a long weekend?" Harry chuckled.

Liam lifted his head a little bit, shot the curly head a glare and went back to his previous position. "Not so long at all. More active." 

Harry could hear him smile and sat down on his chair. As always he just pretended to listen to the teacher. He wasn't interested in school or his education. He didn't even know what he wanted to be in the future. 

With his pencil he scribbled on his block, without paying attention what he painted.   
"I think you should add a shadow there." Harry looked up to Liam. He pointed on the paper in front of him. 

The curly head followed Liam's pointing and he studied his scrawl. It was bird. He added a small shadow at the stomach of the bird and turned the paper in Liam's direction to show it to him.  
The brown haired boy nodded with a smile. "If you mirror it, it looks like a great tattoo."   
Harry cocked his head, eying his drawing and a thought in his head took shape. 

"Yeah, maybe I should do that. Wanna come with me after school?" He asked Liam. 

His friend nodded slowly and tried to hold back a yawn. "Yep. I already wanted to get my one tattoo corrected." He looked up to the blackboard completely ignoring Harry's face expression.

His jaw dropped down and he tried to get back his voice. Liam cleared his throat and chuckled. "Surprised?" He asked. Harry just nodded and picked up his jaw. "Well, a little bit maybe. I've never seen a tattoo on your skin."

Liam pushed his sleeves up and revealed his tattooed forearms. "Wow. I didn't know you are the type for tattoos.” Liam shrugged. "No one thinks that I'm a guy who gets tattoos." 

"So it's settled? After class, at the entrance?" Harry asked and his friend nodded with a smile.

***

Harry stood at his locker, putting his books in and waiting for Zayn to show up. He tapped with his fingertips against the cold metal of his locker and hummed a familiar melody. A blonde bubbly lad appeared next to him, jumping up and down. Harry bobbed his head up and down, trying to follow Niall's big smiley face. 

He shook his head; put his hands on the Irish lad’s shoulders, fixing his feet to the ground. "Niall. Please. I love you, but if you don't stop, I have to punch you." 

Niall immediately stood still, eying the taller guy. "You are kidding, right?" Harry shook his head. "Nope" He popped the 'p' and grinned.

"Aaahm. Yeah. Saturday party? At my flat? Some truth or dare?" The Irish boy lifted an eyebrow. "Maybe some body-shots? I'm sure Lou will come if I ask him." His smile got bigger with every second. Harry shot him a glare. 

"Sure, Niall. And after I took body-shots off Louis and after I got totally drunk I'll fuck him on your bed. So hard, he'll moan so loud, you'll never get this sound out of your beautiful blonde head."

"Nuh uh. Leave the last part out and take him to your flat to fuck the living life out of him, then I will be fine with that." He lifted his index finger and his curly haired friend rolled his eyes. 

"I know you Nialler. If I would fuck him at your flat, you would probably be the first one who asks to join." Niall sighed and waved his hand to stop this annoying topic. 

"So. You'll come? Cum? Whatever?" Harry escaped a loud laugh and he nodded, unable to speak. The Irish lad smiled happily and jumped away.

Harry leaned against his locker, still laughing, as he felt someone standing behind him. "It took you very long to come over, Z." He said and turned around, whipping away some tears of joy. He froze as he saw not Zayn standing behind him. It was Louis. 

Louis fucking Tomlinson. 

"I'm starting to think you persecuting me." He mumbled and leaned back to the locker, crossing his arms over his chest. Louis leaned forward, putting his hands right next to Harry's torso locking him in his arms. 

"You are like a magnet. I can't stay away from you." He whispered with a little smile on his full lips. Harry rolled his eyes. He was totally annoyed of Louis. "Then I think I should congratulate you. If I'm like a magnet to you, you have done very well the past two years, completely avoiding me." The younger boy pushed Louis arms away, leaving the smaller one behind him, not even looking back. 

Why can't Louis just stay away? It would be so much easier to get back to normal. It would be much easier to start hooking up with every other guy again. It would be so much better for him. And for Louis. Harry would never stop making him as submissive as he was once. He would never stop destroying him. He would never stop fucking and leaving him again.

The boy leaned against a wall, gliding down and burying his face in his hands. This guy will be his death. Literally. "H! Here you are. Didn't we say at your locker?" Zayn plopped down next to him. Harry's head shot up, a little bit irritated for no reason. "Yeah, I'm sorry Z. I owe you something. I'll meet Liam in about... uhm... five minutes. You want to join us?" He stuttered, blinking at his mobile to check the time. 

Zayn cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Haz. I'm not the type for a threesome. You should enjoy this Liam guy on your own. But I would not mind a hand job when you return." Harry was about to answer him and tell him that they were just going to go to a tattoo artist, but Zayn interrupted him. "You should ask Louis. Hey Lou! You want to join Harold and this Liam-guy? Nice threesome, huh?" He shouted out to Louis, who passed their sitting spot on the ground. 

Harry laughed loud out in panic, trying to act normal. "Ouh shut up, Z. You know I would prefer you over anybody!" He laughed again, shooting Louis a smug glare, before he stood up and turning around. With a little wink in Zayn's direction he heated to the exit. 

***

"Oh c'mon; Harry! Stop being such a pussy! How many tattoos do you already have? So; calm down!" Liam chuckled, patting Harry's shoulders and watching the tattoo artist preparing the tattoo machine. Harry shifted uneasily as the rattling sound of the machine started.

"Yeah, but it thrills me every time." He mumbled and clenched his teeth as the tattoo artist started drawing the birds for forever on his skin.

"Yeah, bro. I know that feeling." Liam stretched his arms above his head and hummed relaxed. 

Round about an hour later Harry inspected his chest in the mirror. Two birds are now tattooed on under his collarbones. He liked it. 

He waited for Liam to get ready and they went back to campus, saying goodbye and heading to their own flat.   
Harry pushed the door open. "Zayn guess what we did!" He screamed and kicked off his shoes. He walked in the living room and his good mood was immediately gone. 

"What are you doing here?" He hissed as he spotted Louis sitting next to Zayn and Niall on the couch, playing X-Box. The raven haired boy didn't even look up. "Calm down, Harold. I asked them if they wanted to come over. Didn't think you’d come home so early."

Harry frowned. "I'm at my room." 

He slammed his door shut, anger bubbling in his stomach and he pulled of his shirt, slipped in some sweatpants and started hitting his punching back in one corner of his room.

His naked torso was covered in sweat and he sucked for air. His pants slid down and sat deep on his hips now. A little knock on the door caught his attention. The curly haired boy walked over, opening his door, face to face with Louis. 

"Same question as a half an hour ago: What are you doing here?" He snapped. Louis didn't say anything, just watched Harry as he ran his fingers through his hair leaving them in a curly mess. Louis stepped into the room and locked the door behind him. The younger boy turned around to him obviously pissed on. Louis shrugged. "As I already told you. Magnet."

Harry laughed and ran his fingers through his hair again. Louis felt the heat down in his lower region. "Stop it." He snapped and Harry looked at him quietly surprised. He came some steps closer and Lou took every single step backwards. "What?" Harry hissed and got closer. Louis felt the wall hard in his back but Harry refused to stop. "Did you just try to tell me what to do?" The curly head asked, so close that Lou could see every single detail of his beautiful face. He nodded slowly; his eyes now glued on Harrys plumb lips, so close to his own. "Just for the record." Harry started; his voice deep. "I make the rules." Then he crashed his lips against Louis' and kissed him, his body pressed against the older boy. 

Louis moaned against Harry's lips, his finger disappeared in his curls. The younger one kissed his way down to Louis neck, sucking at his sweet spot. He let his hands slide down to Louis bum, lifting him up and the smaller one wrapped his legs around his hips. Harry turned around, scrambled to the bed, pinning Louis down. 

"Too many clothes." He breathed, tugging at the hem of Louis shirt.

Just a few heartbeats later both boys were down to just their boxers. 

Harry kissed Louis' neck, biting the sensitive skin, littering it with hickeys. He smiled against Louis chest as he saw how he marked his territory. He made his way down to Louis' left nipple, biting and sucking it.

Louis gasped. "Harry." He moaned, thrusting his hips up, trying to rub his boner against Harry's erection.

"Want my cock? Hm Lou?" 

"Yeah. Uuuh. I want... aah please!" Louis stuttered between two moans.

"Gonna beg for it, hm?" Harry said placing his hand over Louis hard c*ck.

"Please! C'mon daddy!" Louis screamed out as Harry began rubbing his hand over Louis hard length. 

"You want to get fucked, hm? Daddy's little princess wants it hard up the ass? Want my dick deep inside you?" Harry whispered, completely turned on by the nickname.

Louis nodded with a groan. 

"Yeah, daddy. I want it. I want it so hard. I need your cock in my ass. Please fuck me into the mattress. Please daddy."

"You are my dirty little secret. Daddy's little slut, yeah?" 

"Yeah, daddy's little slut." Louis moaned again.

Harry crawled up, catching Louis' lips with his, running his tongue over his lips, slipping inside and made Lou moan against his mouth, while he pulled down his briefs. 

The curly head lowered his hand down to Louis' entrance. He slid a finger in; gaining a moan from Louis. He stretched him open and lined himself up. Without waiting for Louis to adjust he bottomed out and started thrusting in. 

Harry rammed into the body under him, thrusting harder and faster, causing Louis to cum untouched on his naked chest and stomach.

He slammed a few more times into Louis before he finally came into him. He pulled out, collapsed next to heavy breathing Louis and he closed his eyes for a moment.

He felt Louis move next to him but he refused to open his eyes. 

"Harry?" The other lad whispered. He opened one eye and looked over to Louis.

"Can… uhm… can I cuddle?" He asked, his high pitched voice so quiet, his blue eyes looking around but not in Harry's direction. The taller guy sighed, opened his arm and gave Louis a little wink with his hand. 

"I gonna sleep. When I wake up, you are gone." He said, closing his eyes again. Louis nodded and snugged close to Harry, wrapping his arm around his stomach, laying his head down on his chest, the sound of the others heart beat in his ear. 

"Ouh and Louis? What was this 'Stop it' about?" Harry's voice was already deep and sleepy.   
Louis chuckled. "Not everything changes in two years, Harold. You were half naked, covered in sweat and you didn't stop running your fingers through your hair. All I wanted was to touch your skin, to be the one who made you sweat, to run my finger through your god damn curls. It was too much for me to take." He said but Harry couldn’t hear him anymore, his breath already slowly and regularly, completely asleep.

As Harry woke up some hours later Louis was gone. And he seemed thrown back in time. There was nothing that could tell that Louis have ever been here. Except for the burning scratches on his back. 

Harry groaned, stood up and walked to the kitchen to get some water. As he passed the living room he saw Zayn sitting on the couch zapping through the channels. 

“Hey Daddy.” He grinned smugly.

“Oh shut up, Z.” Harry growled and went back to bed.


	7. Chapter 06

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeey u remember me? 
> 
> next chapter is up!!
> 
> xx

You could say Liam and Harry got really close over the week. They whispered behind their hands, sharing knowing glances and smiles. They confused Zayn as shit and Niall watched them with a lifted eyebrow and crossed arms. And Louis? Well, Louis watched them, trying to hold the pieces of his broken heart together. He never thought that he had to look at Harry, flirting and looking at another guy with hearty eyes. But that’s what happened. And all he could do was smiling and acting like it didn’t bother him.

And to be honest, all that Harry did was making a new friend. He liked Liam very much. He was such a good listener, sharing his love to tattoos and always had a wise answer when Harry was confused. After a few days Liam started to open up to Harry, telling him a few of his secrets. He actually told him about his first gay experience. Harry’s jaw dropped as Liam started with this topic and it took a long time to Liam to make Harry believe him. It was at a party and Liam was drunk as fuck and the only thing he could remember was that it was really really good (he never expected that gay-sex could ever be SO fucking good). 

They went out, playing footie or staying all night out at Liam’s place chatting, laughing and watching random TV-soaps.   
It was Tuesday night as Harry cuddled himself under the blanket, reaching out for the popcorn bowl. Liam sat at the other end of the couch. There was always enough space between them. Harry’s eyes were glued on the TV, munching some of the sweet popcorn. 

Liam cleared his throat. 

No reaction.

He did it again. Louder this time.

Again. No reaction from Harry.

Liam rolled his eyes, pushing Harry down on the floor, receiving Harry to scream. 

“Honestly Styles. You scream like a little girl.” 

Harry rubbed his ass and crawled back on the couch, glaring at Liam.  
“What was that for?” 

Liam picked at his fingernails and tried to avoid Harry’s eyes. He didn’t know how to start this topic. 

“Seriously Payne, if you pushed me down the couch just to hear me scream out like a little girl, I swear you will regret it.” Harry growled. 

Liam grinned. “No. You screaming were just the bonus. I wanted to ask you something.” 

Harry crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for Liam to continue. 

“Well… uhm… What’s that thing going on with that Louis-guy?” Liam asked his voice really quiet barely to understand. Harry’s eyes widened in shock. Not even Zayn asked him about Louis.   
Harry banned every emotion out of his face, trying to act like he doesn’t care about Louis. He didn’t even care about Louis. Louis was just a good fuck from time to time. Nothing to be serious with. It’s not like he was ever serious with Harry. 

“It’s nothing. Why don’t you mind your own business?” He asked, his voice so calm, it should has been a warning for Liam. 

“Well if it’s nothing, then why did he show up yesterday, asking me if I had something going on with you?” Liam looked at Harry, noticing his clenched jaw and fists. 

“What did you answer?” He managed to hiss between his teeth. 

Liam shrugged. “I asked him why he even minded and told him to mind his own business. He seemed a little bit pissed.”

Yeah, that was the Louis Harry knew. Trying to act like the older one (well he IS the older one) and always trying to keep everybody away from Harry. But Harry was no little child anymore. No lusty teenager with hearty eyes glued on Louis. Harry has grown into a man. Twenty years old now and he fucking knew what he wanted. And that was definitely not a relationship with Louis. Not again. 

Harry nodded. “You always know to say the right thing. Sometimes I have the feeling that you are older then you told me.” He giggled. 

Liam chuckled. “Do you mind telling me the truth about him now?” He asked.

Harry shook his head. “Maybe someday. But not now.” He answered sternly.  
He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to remind how broken he was. He didn’t want to remind how long and how much it took to fix him again. 

Liam sighed and dropped the topic. For now.

***

It was Saturday night and Harry sat at the couch in Niall’s flat, sipping at his beer, waiting for Liam to show up. Sometimes he had the feeling that his life was just about getting from weekend to weekend; from one party to another party. That school was just a fill in for the time to the next party. 

Zayn plopped down next to him holding out a vodka bottle. Harry took a sip and flinched at the burning liquor running down his throat. 

“You are too sober for my preferred taste, my friend.” Zayn said. 

“Don’t feeling like getting shit-faced today.” Harry shrugged and looked at his friend.

“Oh damn you Styles. Don’t gimme that bitch face. Drink for fucks sake. Get drunk and screw some guy up.” Zayn waved with the bottle. 

Harry rolled his green eyes, now a big grin on his plump lips, grabbing the bottle and emptying it. 

“Holy moly, Harry. Need some braveness?” Liam laughed and sat down next to Zayn. He didn’t notice the raven haired boy checking him out. 

Harry gestured to the both boys. “Liam this is my roommate Zayn. Z that’s Liam.”   
Both nodded. “Yeah I know him already. This is the guy you keep hanging out with the whole week.” Zayn slurred and checked Liam out once again. 

Harry noticed it and stood up. “Well I’ll look around a little bit.” And with these words he left his friends on the couch and made his way through the crowded flat. He spotted the blonde Irish guy in the kitchen; bubbly and hyperactive as ever. 

Harry stood behind him, wrapping an arm around his waist, pressing himself against the back of his friend. Niall’s head spin around and as he noticed Harry, he snugged even closer to his chest. 

“Want some cocktails, Harold?” He asked. Harry nodded and took the red cup Niall gave him. It was a cherry tasting cocktail and he emptied it quickly, asking for a new one. 

After a few cocktails they started emptying a lot of shots, getting drunk with every shot they took. Harry was glad that Louis didn’t show up yet. He got into a drunken conversation with one of the older students. He was taller than Harry (if that’s even possible), had dark brown hair and eyes with a mixture of blue and brown. His skin was slightly tanned and his voice was deep. The completely opposite of Louis. 

Why am I even wasting a thought to Louis?

Harry shook his head to get the older but smaller boy out of his mind. The guy gave him two shots and grinned as Harry slipped them away without waiting a second. Harry didn’t even remember the name of the guy. He just wanted some distraction. Louis was still present in his mind and he wanted to get rid of it. 

The guy leaned over to him, his fingers slowly rambling down his cheeks, causing him to shiver. With his other hand he grabbed Harry’s wrist and pulled him out the kitchen to the floor. He pressed the curly haired boy against the wall, his lips on his neck, sucking and kissing down to his collarbone. Harry closed his eyes, tried to enjoy the feeling of the guy’s lips. He felt hands on his hips, slowly gliding under his shirt and in the direction of his pants. 

In Harry’s head it wasn’t the strange guy touching and kissing him. In his head, it was Louis’ lips kissing his neck and sucking at his skin, Louis’ fingers slipping into his pants. A moan escaped Harry’s lips as the guy’s fingers touched his hardening member. Harry’s head rolled back and he buried his fingers in the guy’s dark hair, pretending it was Louis feathery caramel brown hair. 

Harry gasped as all of a sudden the touch ended. He tore his eyes open and tried to see what happened. His vision was already blurred and he stumbled a little thanks to the amount of alcohol rushing through his veins. 

The guy who touched him stood in front of him, torn away from a smaller guy in red trousers. Harry blinked a few times and his vision cleared. Louis. Louis stood there, holding the taller lad by his shoulders and pushed him away.

“Don’t you dare coming near him! Don’t you dare touching him again!” He shouted and pushed the other one once more. Little furious guy. Harry chuckled as he saw Louis so possessive about him. The taller lad frowned. “He isn’t yours. I think he should decide who should touch him or not.” His voice was totally calm. 

Louis clenched his fist and connected them with the random guy’s jaw. “I warned you. Don’t try to get into his pants again!” Louis hissed, turned around and pulled Harry out of the flat, down to the garden. The cold air hit them like a brick wall. 

Harry was still giggling like a seven years old girl. “Loulou. Since when are you so possessive again?” He slurred.

Harry stumbled again and Louis pushed him against the wall, trying to keep him up. “Oh. Am I back to the submissive position?” Louis didn’t answer.

“Why didn’t you want me to have some fun with this guy?” Harry pouted. 

Louis looked at him with a sternly gaze. “Because he just wanted to get into your pants. And in the fit nice arse of yours.” Harry gulped at these words. He fumbled at the hem of his shirt.

“When was the last time you bottomed?” Louis voice was so quiet, barely hearable. But Harry did. Even in his drunken state he heard him.

He frowned and acted thinking. “Two years ago. I’m a top since then.” 

His answer sounded so sober. So clear. No slurring or giggling. 

Louis came closer. “So I was the last one who fucked you in your nice bum. And I’ll be the last one. Note that anywhere in your drunken mind.” He whispered and pressed his lips against Harry’s. 

Harry immediately returned the kiss, wanting more than just the feeling of Louis’ lips against his. His mind was still dizzy and he was so sure he will not remember anything the next day. But he didn’t care. He never did.

Louis pulled away, resting his forehead against Harry’s. “I’ve missed you so much, Hazza.”

Harry frowned again. He didn’t hear this name in so long. “You left Louis. I was there all the time. Waiting for you to come back. It was like you never existed at all. You even deleted your number in my phone!” Anger started bubbling up in his stomach and he pushed Louis away.

Well, he tried. But he was to drunk, so Louis just took a step back. “I couldn’t stay. You deserved someone better than me! You still do! It was so hard for me to leave you behind. It broke my heart!” Louis answered.

“It broke YOUR heart? Fuck! What do you think did it to me? Do you think I was jumping around and smiling like I just met a fucking unicorn? Do you think I moved on immediately after you closed the door behind you? WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DO YOU THINK I DID?” Tears started rushing down Harry’s face, leaving a wet trail on his cheeks.

Louis stood there, words stuck somewhere in his throat. He couldn’t say anything. 

“Yeah. You shattered my heart into a million pieces. Did you think it was made of gum? You destroyed me, Louis Tomlinson. You left. It took two years to get the pieces back together.” 

Harry held out two fingers, anger and rage glowing in his green eyes. Louis gulped and took another step back. 

“You deserved someone better than me.” Louis repeated his earlier words.

“Why do you think I deserved someone better? All I ever wanted was you, Louis. Only you. I would have done everything for you. I was happy as long as you were around me. I couldn’t picture my future without you by my side. And then you disappeared. Why did you do that?” Harry’s voice went quiet. He didn’t have the strength to keep on screaming at Louis. 

Louis came closer again, resting one hand at Harry’s cheek whipping away the tears. “Please Harry. Don’t cry. Please.” He whispered, his voice shaking. 

Harry sobbed. “Answer me, Louis. I’m waiting for this answer for over two years. I deserve it.”

Louis gulped, wrapping his arms around Harry’s chest, pressing himself against his ex-boyfriend feeling his heat and smelling his scent mixed with the scent of alcohol.   
Then he pulled away, standing up on his tiptoes, pressing one last kiss on Harry’s plump lips.

“Because I love you.”


	8. Chapter 07

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whooooop. Next chapter up!
> 
> Have fun reading 
> 
> xx

“I’ve moved on. And you should do the same.” Harry spat; his voice cold as the air around them. He pushed Louis away and returned to the party. 

What the fuck was that? He left him because he loved him? That didn't even make sense. 

Harry shook his head, trying to get these confusing thoughts out of his curly haired head. He joined Niall in the kitchen again. He felt so fucking sober; he definitely should do something against that. 

The blond lad grinned at him, already drunken. "Harrrroooooold!" He screamed and pushed a red cup over to him. "Drink, my friend!" He shouted and eyed Harry as he lifted the cup and emptied it all in once. He felt the alcohol rushing through his veins, making him dizzy and comfortable again. Harry reached out for the next cup, slipped it away and started taking shots with Niall again. 

A few tequila shots later he stumbled to the living room; pushing through the crowd, looking out for Zayn or for Liam. He wanted to go home. The alcohol blurred his view and he tried hard to keep his eyes open. Harry reached the couch where he left his two friends. 

They were still sitting there. Zayn on Liam's lap, arms wrapped around his neck, lips connected in a hot kiss, rocking his hip forward and back again; causing Liam to moan against his mouth. Liam's fingers were buried in Zayn's raven black hair, tugging on the roots, pressing him harder against him. 

Well, it seemed like they are both busy.

Harry turned around, pumping against a body. He looked up, his view cleared and blurred again. 

"Harry!" The body gasped. 

Harry frowned and nodded. "Yep. That's my name, you genius." He slurred and held up his thumb. 

"Oh my, you are drunk, aren't you?" 

"Isn't that obvious? You are surely a genius. Congratulations!" He smirked and winked. 

"You should go to bed, Harold." Ew. Why does everyone call him Harold? 

"I wanted to. But Zayn… is busy…. And Liam is also busy…" He pointed at the couch to the snogging boys. 

The boy in front of him scrunched up his nose. "Obviously. Do you have a place to go?"

Harry didn't answer, leaned forward and poked the guy in his cheek. "You look funny. Whooooo are you?" He slurred and poked the guy again. 

The guy just shook his head with a frown on his face. "Want to come with me?" He offered. 

Harry tapped with his index finger against his temple, acting to think about the offer. 

"Uhm…" He started but the other boy interrupted him.

“You won't get the chance to head home with Zayn the next time. And as long as you don't want to sleep here between the still partying guys you should accept my offer." In a strange, drunken way this made sense. 

Harry slowly nodded and let the boy grab his arm and pull him out the flat. 

"C'mon Harry. It's not so far. Hurry a little it’s cold." The boy mentioned. Harry stopped walking, stumbling a little and tried to keep his balance. 

"Then you should come here and cuddle." He opened his arms and wanted to pull the boy into a thigh hug. 

"We can do this at home. It’s freezing. Just keep on walking. Please Harry." 

Harry rolled his eyes and followed the boy the whole way to the lad's flat. 

He walked in, sighing as he was welcomed by the warmth. Without looking to the right or the left he made his way to the room he thought was the bedroom (surprise - he was right) and fell down on the bed; immediately asleep as his body hit the mattress. 

***

Louis laid in his bed, eyes opened and gaze turned to the ceiling. The slightly breathing next to him told him, that Harry was still asleep. Completely knocked out. He drank so much. Louis couldn't believe that Harry didn't throw up. It was a miracle.

He sighed and turned around. Harry laid there, his curly hair spread over the pillow, his lips all plump and in a kissable pink shade. His hands buried under his head, his body turned to lay on his stomach.

The last time Louis saw Harry like this, lying so peaceful next to him, was two years ago. It felt like a Deja vu. Like the night before Louis left. Two years ago it all looked nearly the same. Harry asleep, far away in a dreamland and Louis lying next to him, watching him sleeping and all he wanted was to kiss and cuddle him. 

But like then, he couldn't. Harry hated him. He moved on. And Louis knew that he should do the same. Should move on. Should forget him. But he can't. He will never. It nearly killed him as he left him the first time. And he was so happy to have him back. More or less. They had something going on. 

But Louis didn't know what exactly it was. 

He reached out his hand and slowly caressed the skin on Harry's cheek. So soft even despite the stubble. He was really a man now. Last time Louis saw him he was eighteen and more a boy than a man. But now he was different. A completely different person. He got tattoos (they look very hot he had to admit), his hair got longer (wonderful to bury his fingers in it during… you know), he got stronger (Hell, Louis loved his muscles) and his personality changed. Not this little innocent boy anymore. A strong man who knows what he wants. 

And Louis was willed to give him everything just to see Harry like that more often. He wanted to sleep next to him, cuddled up against each other, fingers intertwined and legs tangled. Sort of a perfect moment. 

Louis stiffed as Harry growled and started shifting around. As quiet as possible Louis stood up, got dressed and left the room. He didn't know how Harry would react if he woke up and saw Louis next to him, looking at him like he was sort of a chocolate. 

***

Harry slowly tried to open his eyes. He tried. But as a bright light hit his eyes he shot them close and groaned. The pain in his head got even worse with every second. He run his fingers through his hair and looked around. 

He knew this room. He has been here before. The doors of the wardrobe were open and Harry crawled out of bed and he slowly tapped over to the wardrobe. There were red chinos, black ripped skinnies, striped shirts, and some oversized jumpers. Harry gasped as he noticed a big collection of suspenders in the corner. These are all things he could picture on Louis. 

“How’s your head?” Harry turned around and hissed as the pain hit him again. He kept his eyes shot and tried to get rid of this fucking hangover. He’ll never – never (!) – drink so much again. 

“Obviously not so good. Need some painkillers?” The voice asked again and Harry just nodded, still with closed eyes. 

A few moments later he felt a small hand around his arm and he was pulled to the bed. “C’mon Harry. Sit down.” Someone hold out two painkillers and a glass of water. Harry took them without looking up. “Thanks.” He muttered and let himself fell back down on the mattress. He turned his head to the right and opened his eyes again. 

“Louis.” He whispered.

The older boy smiled. “Yeah it’s me. Don’t look at me like I’m a miracle or something like that.” 

Harry rolled his eyes. “Sassy as always. Why does it smell like something is burning?”

Louis frowned. “Oh shit!” He jumped up and ran out of the room. Harry followed him slowly, trying to calm his arching head down. He eyed Louis flat, wanting to get known to the boy he knew once like the pockets of his pants. It seems like this Louis was exactly the same person. A little bit messy, books pile up on a drawer and his god damn vans and TOM’s shattered all over the floor. 

Harry entered the kitchen, and wrinkled his nose because of the dark dust and biting smell coming from something that once looked like pancakes. 

“Ever thought of keeping your flat clean and tidy up a little bit? Or learn cooking?” He asked and cocked an eyebrow.

Louis rolled his eyes and tossed the pan with the burned breakfast in the sink.

“Ah shut up Harold. Well, I guess we go for some tea for breakfast instead of pancakes.” He mumbled and opened the drawer to search for two cups. He boiled some water and put two bags with Yorkshire Tea in the cups adding a teaspoon sugar in one and some milk in the other. Harry watched him. Louis remembered that Harry liked his tea sweated. He took his cup from Louis and followed him in the living room.

Both guys plopped down on the small couch sipping on the hot tea, not knowing what to say. 

After a few minutes of awkward silence Louis was about to break it. “So… uhm… do you even remember anything?” He asked, eyes glued the cup in his hands.

Harry shook his head, curls flying around and Louis just wanted to run his finger though and wanted to pull him closer and kiss his plump pink lips. The younger boy cleared his throat. 

“Uhm… Well I barely remember a thing. But there was a guy… and I talked to you outside… but I can’t remember what about. And there were Liam and Zayn…” Harry paused looking confused.

“Louis… Did Zayn and Liam make out on Niall’s couch?” He asked. 

“Please don’t tell me that this was the first time you saw them making out. They did it before. During the party at your flat. You remember?” Louis sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. “Sure you don’t. You should start thinking of drinking less alcohol, babe.” He chuckled.

“Harry.” The curly haired boy answered.

Louis looked up, confusion written all over his feminine and soft lineaments. “What?”

“Harry. My name is Harry. Not ‘babe’. You aren’t allowed to call me that anymore.” Harry’s voice was cold and without any emotion. 

Louis caught quietly and sipped on his tea. But he didn’t respond. What should he say? That he’s still head over heels in love with him? That he would do anything? That he’d never leave him again? That he’d do anything to fix him? The little innocent Harry he knew once would have hugged and cuddled all night after telling him these things. He would have forgiven him immediately, just happy to have him back. But this Harry… This adult strong and cold Harry wouldn’t give a single fuck about what Louis would have said. So Louis decided rather to stay quiet and keep his heart in one piece instead of picking up the shattered and broken pieces later.

“Did we fuck?” 

“W-what?” Louis blinked, not sure if he understood Harry right.

The other boy rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“I asked if I fucked you in the mattress last night.” He repeated more slowly than before. 

Louis gulped. Harry’s dirty words teasing his imagination; picturing the situation he asked for.

He just shook his head no, unable to mouth out a single word.

“What a shame.” 

“W-what?” Louis slowly got angry about himself for asking the same stupid question again.

“You really get a check up on your ears, Lou. I said it’s really a shame that I didn’t fuck your little tiny body as hard and as fast as possible in the mattress last night. It’s a shame I didn’t make you scream out my name and scratch my back begging for more. It’s really a shame I didn’t make you cum all over your nice toned chest. It’s a shame I didn’t fuck you so hard to watch you now barely handling to sit and walk.” Harry shrugged and put all his attention to his half empty cup.

Louis shifted uneasily at his spot on the couch. He felt his cock getting harder in his sweatpants. Harry’s a completely turn on for him. The way his pink plump lips are sipping on the cup, the way he shot his eyes close as the hot liquid run over this tongue. The way the muscles in his arm flexed as he reached out to put the cup on the table. And the way he spread his legs wide to sit more comfortable. It remembered Louis to the time Harry laying under him, completely naked, dark curls spread over the white pillows, eyes closed, lips parted, letting out small whimpers as Louis spread his legs just a little bit more. 

“Everything alright, Lou?” Harry cocked an eyebrow and looked at him with a mischievous smirk. 

“Eh yeah. Sure. Why shouldn’t it?” Louis tried to answer as quickly as possible. Maybe a little bit too quickly. 

“Don’t know. Maybe because you were growling and moaning just a few seconds ago.” Harry shrugged again and leaned closer, crawling on the couch over to him; his bright green eyes darkened and biting on his lower lip.

“H-Harry. Stop it. P-Please.” Louis stuttered, trying to escape Harry.

The younger boy was now so close, his hot breath gliding over the Louis neck. His hands placed on Louis thighs slowly moving up, along his hip, his thumbs slowly torturing his hardening cock.

“You really want me to stop? Because it doesn’t feel like that.” Harry teased and kept on stroking his hot skin with his cool fingers. 

Louis leaned back and closed his eyes, tried so hard to hold back a loud moan as Harry bite down on his neck, slowly sucking on the sensible skin. He dig his nails in Louis sensitive flesh causing him to moan out loud, hips buckling up wanting Harry to do something. 

Harry buried his right hand in Louis feathery caramel colored hair, lazily tugging on the roots, his left hand pressing against his hardening member. 

Louis back arched up from the couch; melting into Harry’s touch. “H-harry… please…” He didn’t even know what he was begging for. His mind was all fuzzy; all he could think about was harryharryharryharry.

“How’d you call me?” Harry growled against his neck.

Louis hissed as Harry bite down again. “Daddy. Please daddy. M a good boy.” He begged again.

“Yeah. Such a good boy for me. Already so hard for me. I love it when you get so submissive, Lou.” The curly haired boy whispered, his hand still palming Louis through his pants. 

“Oh god. Please. Daddy. Always a good boy. Please. I need you.” Louis whimpered. Harry smirked; pushing Louis shirt up and throwing it away. 

He sat back and his mouth watered at the sight of Louis, lying with bare torso under him, his caramel hair in a total mess, cheeks flushed and lips red and kissable; chest rising and falling fast as his breath became faster. 

“Like what you see?” Louis whispered a small smile on his lips.

Harry couldn’t hold the laugh back. “Sure I do. You look so pretty, so fuckable right now.” 

He ran his fingers across his chest, his stomach and up again. Harry leaned forward again catching Louis lips with his, pressing hard against each other, sliding his tongue inside his mouth, showing him who’s the one to give the commands. 

Louis moaned and scratched across Harry’s back, marking him. “Want my cock right now?” Harry asked, kept on kissing the smaller boy.

Louis nodded, unable to speak. Harry pulled down the elder’s sweatpants and his own pants, throwing them to the ground carelessly. 

Harry got Louis licking two of his fingers again; stretching and scissoring him open as always before he slammed in the tiny boy and fucked him almost to oblivion.

Louis came undone on his stomach and chest and Harry followed just a few thrusts later as the feeling of Louis’ clenching hole got too much for him to keep it back any longer. 

Harry sat back, leaning against the soft furniture, gasping for air. “I don’t want anyone to know.”


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was time for the next chapter! Enjoy :)  
> Leave comments, kudos, dreams, hopes, fears, love, hamsters, cats,...

Louis frowned, still trying to catch his breath. “What?” 

Harry reached out for his pants, slowly pulling them on again. “What happens between you and I. That I fuck you till you scream my name. That you are the one leaving bloody red scratches on my back. I don’t want anyone to know that. That’s a secret, right Lou? Yours and my little secret.” 

The taller boy leaned over to the smaller one, pushing his fringe back and placing a soft kiss on his temple. 

Louis gulped. “Why?” 

The pain in his voice was so clear it was almost touchable. 

“Because of what you did. It’s not like I jump around proudly and tell everyone what happened. We are not back again. There will never be an ‘us’ again. No ‘Larry Stylinson’ or how they called us back then. Keep that always back in your mind when you got my cock inside your tight little hole. Never. You are my dirty little secret. And you’ll stay like that.” 

Louis nodded, unable to say anything against it. He couldn’t resist Harry. Even if he tried; he would be back in his bed with just a snip of his long graceful fingers. 

“Always such a good boy.” Harry murmured; patted Louis soft hair and stood up, stretching his long body. 

“I’ll walk back to Niall’s just to see if Zayn is still there. Wanna come with me?” He offered and looked back to still naked Louis curled up to a ball on his couch. 

He looked up. “Yeah. Gimme a minute. Just put some clothes on.”

Harry waited patiently at the door. After a few minutes Louis show up dressed in black skinny jeans and a big grey jumper. It looked like it could be one of Harry’s old ones. 

The both boys slowly walked through the cold morning air, not knowing what to talk about.

“How do we act if we meet in public?” Louis spoke up after a while.

Harry kicked a stone away and frowned. “Normal. Just like we don’t know each other. You don’t know me, Louis and I don’t know you. All we do is share some time under the bed sheets. Not more; not less. If we meet in public act like that.” 

The silent got back and Louis could feel his heart beating fast and hurtful against his rib cage. This Harry was good in hurting people just with words. He could be so charming and sweet. But he only shows this side of him when he wants Louis naked on the bed, legs spread wide and begging for him to get fucked. 

So Louis decided to do what the curly head wanted. To act against his rules would be worse. And he’d lost Harry completely. 

After a few more minutes they reached Niall’s flat and entered. The door’s always open. Harry walked down the aisle searching for his roommate. The kitchen was a completely mess, empty cups and bottles all around, liquor on the floor and some empty pizza cartons on the counter. The living room didn’t look any different and so does the rest of the flat. 

“Harry! I think I found them.” He heard Louis high-pitched voice. 

“Them? I’m just looking for Zayn and not for the whole school.” He hissed and looked in the room Louis pointing at. 

It was the bedroom. Niall’s favorite place in his flat is the kitchen. So he kept his bedroom simple in white with just a big king size bed and a dark wooden wardrobe. The most interesting thing in his bedroom was what was IN this very large king size bed. Or better who.

Harry could see three bodies curled up against each other. Lying on their stomachs, snoring quietly bed sheets all over them just showing their bare feet, the shoulders and their heads.   
Harry walked closer, crossing his arms over his chest, trying to keep down the chuckle. Louis stood right beside him a big grin on his face. 

One of the bodies slowly started moving and raised his head. Zayn blinked sleepily and his gaze got from Harry to Louis and back again to Harry. Zayn laid on the right side of the bed and he swung his long legs out. He hissed with every move. Harrys and Louis grin got bigger with every second.

“So had fun last night you two?” The raven haired boy asked, stood up and sat down immediately again. His tanned skin went pale within seconds.

“Nope. He held my hair back when I threw this shit up you and the Irish little bastard got me to drink last night.” Harry answered and gesticulated to Louis.

Zayn frowned, gagged and threw up in the corner of Niall’s bedroom. 

“Yep. Right. Just like that. But my hair is a little longer than yours.” Harry chuckled and Louis tried not to make deep breaths. Otherwise he would throw up right next to Zayn.

Zayn caught and got up from the bed again. His little show woke up the two other lads. They started shifting and they turned around slowly; making Harry and Louis braking down laughing and Zayn throwing up once again as he saw who they were.

“I’m hungry. Is there some pizza left?” A voice with a thick Irish accent called out. Niall’s eyes got wide as he saw Louis and Harry standing there and laughing their asses off. 

“Ah yeah. That’s awkward.” They heard another voice. 

Harry grinned. “Good morning Liam. Quite active weekend, isn’t it?” 

Liam groaned, felt back onto the mattress and threw a pillow in Harry’s direction hitting Louis straight in the face and kicking him off of his feet and down to the ground. 

Liam was on his feet within seconds. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry! Everything alright?”   
He wanted to move to Louis to help him up but stopped immediately as a sharp pain started in his lower back region. 

“Guys I’m flattered that you all show of like that. But please put some pants on or I’ll never be able to look in your face again.” Harry turned around and held one hand out to help Louis up. 

***

Half an hour later the five boys sat more or less comfortable on Niall’s couch munching some pizza Louis managed to order for them.   
“To ask what you did last night would be a waste of words. It’s obvious what happened. The most interesting thing is: how the hack did you got it so far?” Harry laughed again. This was clearly his new favorite topic and he wouldn’t let it down for the next weeks. 

Liam’s cheeks are flushed in a dark red shade, Zayn tried to avoid everyone’s gaze and Niall was just his Irish self; happily chewing his pizza. 

No one wanted to answer him and so the topic was dropped. For the first time.


	10. Chapter 09

The weather shifted from ‘freezing the ass off’ to ‘too hot to move a finger’ within weeks. The time flew by and Harry and Louis managed to keep their dirty little secret what it belonged to be: a secret. No one noticed when both disappeared for some time to snog around the corner or for a quick blow or hand job in a bathroom stall. The only thing that could be noticed was Harry’s satisfied and Louis heartbroken expression afterwards.

Harry kept Louis distant and every time after they hooked up he left Louis alone. Alone in the bathroom, alone in the park, alone in his bed. No cuddles afterwards as he knew Louis would love them. Every single time Harry show up at Louis’ he fixed his broken heart a little bit and healed the wounds on his soul. Just with his presence. And every single time he left again he ripped them open and made them bleed again.

So it was just about time when Harry would finally break Louis’ heart.

It was a warm night in May, Harry and Louis got together just a few minutes ago, they lay next to each other catching their breath and enjoying the coming down from their high. Without a single word Harry got up and reached for his clothes. Put on his pants, his shirt and his shoes.

Louis turned around, trying to cover his naked body with some bed sheets. Harry stood at the door, fully dressed, his eyes hidden behind his curls. The older boy took a deep breath. “Harry?” the curly head spin around, his emerald green eyes focusing on the naked boy on the bed.

He nodded slightly to show Lou to keep on talking. Louis gulped, obviously fighting with himself. “C-Can you… Can you tell me a lie?” he asked his deep blue eyes wide and expectant. Harry frowned. “You want me to tell you a lie?” He repeated the older ones question. The boy with the feathery brown hair nodded and cracked a smile. “Yeah. So I don’t feel so… slutty. You know.” He made a little wave with his small hand and rolled his eyes.

Harry crossed the room and walked over to Louis. He leaned forward and took his chin in his hand. “That’s because you are my dirty little secret.” He said and Louis felt his heart beat stop for a moment. He tried to look away, hiding his tears. The curly head let go of his chin and walked to the door again, opening it and before leaving the room he turned around again. “But if you want me to tell you a lie, to feel better, then… I love you, Louis.” and with this sentence, he closed the door behind him, leaving a still naked Louis alone on the bed, tears rushing down his face and his heart shattered in front of him.

He broke him with this simple sentence. This little lie was everything that was necessary to destroy Lou. And Louis knew that it would be better to run away and never come back. It would be better to go and never look back. It would be better to move on. As Harry said. He moved on a long time ago and it would be better for Louis to do the same. But he also knew that he couldn’t. He was addicted to Harry. If he would leave he knew that it would be the end. In every single way. And so he accepted that he was Harry’s dirty secret which nobody should know about it. And he was glad that at least he could be with Harry in this one way. Even if it destroys and breaks him every time, again and again.

***

From now on telling this little lie got their routine. After every single kiss, after every touch, after every time Harry fucked Louis’ tiny body he told him he loved him. At first he was surprised how easy these three words came over his lips. How easy he could tell Louis he loved him. Even if it’s not true. But after what happened a few years ago he never told anyone his feelings. Or had feelings for anyone. The only feelings he accepted were cock-feelings.

Yeah he liked Zayn. Very much. But just in a friendly way. He was like a brother to him. A brother he could fuck from time to time but that’s not the point. He likes Niall, too. That bubbly and hyperactive bloke. And Liam. The both guys got really close the past weeks and Harry didn’t want to miss him in his life. But Louis. Louis was different. He didn’t felt anything but hate for him. And some cock-feelings. But leave them out for a moment. So why was it so easy to say ‘I love you’? Why was it so easy to kiss him, say these three words but it makes a little crack in his heart when he turned around and left? Harry pushed these thoughts back in his mind and tried to focus on more important things. The next party or his next tattoo.

So; just as Louis started getting used to Harry leaving afterwards and telling him he loves him even he didn’t mean it Harry started acting weird. And Louis started recognizing it at a party in the middle of July.

Louis stood in the kitchen in a random flat talking to a girl with long brown hair falling in soft waves over her back. She was round about Louis’ height with a small frame and big eyes. She smiled and gesticulated all the time and made Louis laugh. He never laughed so hard the last month. The girl placed her graceful small hand on his arm, her eyes sparkling (kind of) and she got closer to Louis.

Louis was gay. But he was just a guy. And he was drunk. And this girl (can’t even remember her name) seemed to be a good distraction from heart-breaking-Harry. So he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. It felt weird. Strange. Not right. Her lips were soft but he missed the strength behind the kiss. He missed Harry’s lips. So he pulled back and shot her an excusing smile.

“May I ask what you are doing with my boyfriend?” A deep husky voice came directly from behind Louis. And he immediately felt Harry’s presence in his back. Harry placed his hand on his waist and pulled him closer to his chest, eying the girl in front of him. Louis’ cheeks blushed in a dark red and just wished a deep hole would appear so he could hide in it. This was just embarrassing.

The girl shifted in discomfort and turned around without another word. So Louis turned to face Harry. “What was that about?” He asked slowly getting angry.

Harry just shrugged and took another sip from his beer bottle.

“I don’t like it when other people touch you. You are mine.” He simply said and went over to Niall who was waving with a huge vodka bottle asking for some shots.

The word boyfriend echoed the whole night in Louis head.

After that party it was the first time Louis went home with Harry and he woke up still lying next to him. Normally he would murmur some drunken ‘I love you’ and try to get away as fast as possible. But this morning Louis opened his eyes slowly feeling some unfamiliar weight on his chest. He turned his head and saw Harry next to him. Arm over his chest holding him close to him; feeling the heat of the body next to him. Louis poked Harry’s cheek carefully.

“Harry? You awake?” He whispered.

Harry made some strange noises just to cuddle more and burry his face in Louis’ neck.

“Harry you okay? Why are you still here?” He asked. Louder this time.

Again some strange noises but no answer.

“HAROLD!” Louis yelled.

Harry shot up, turning around and held up a pillow like he wanted to defense himself. Louis eyes went wide as he saw Harry didn’t wear anything. He was surprised that Harry was still in his bed. But still naked was something he didn’t even think about.

“I was fucking sleeping you dumb ass!” He growled and threw the pillow in Louis direction; hitting him in the face and kicking him off the bed.

“I just wondered why you are still here.” Louis’ voice came from under the bed. He crawled up again just to see Harry slipping in his pants.

“You are right. Sorry Lou.” He leaned forward kissing him right on the mouth and just a heartbeat later he was out the door with nothing but an ‘I love you’.

***

Now – two hours later – Harry sat on his spot on the couch in his flat. On the table a cup of tea; rocking forward and back. The scene what happened at Louis’ flat played in his mind over and over again. He kissed him goodbye. He fucking stayed the whole night. If someone would have told him that he’d stay the night right next to Louis cuddled up, face buried in his neck, enjoying every single touch and after that kissing him goodbye he would had laughed and called that person crazy. He hated Louis. So why should he do something like that?

Why the fuck did he do that? And why the fuck did he even think about that?

It drove him crazy the more he was thinking about it. Zayn came back later the day; walking all normal and a big grin on his face. This immediately disappeared as he saw Harry.

“Everything alright, mate?” He asked sitting down next to him.

Harry nodded and shook his head a second later.

“What happened?” Zayn’s voice was deep and his eyes were filled with worries about his best friend. 

“Nothing important. I’m just a little bit confused. I have to think about it first.” Harry shrugged as he decided to keep it as a secret. He covered his confused expression with a big ass-eating grin.

“But I have to congratulate you, mate. You made it to a top!” He gave Zayn a little smack on the shoulder.

“Just as long as I am with Liam.” Zayn smirked.

Harry shook his head, curls hanging down in his face.

“I still can’t believe it. You made him gay. What the hell did you do?”

Zayn’s grin got even bigger then it was before. “I fucked him.” He simply answered.

Harry rolled his eyes and laughed.

That was what best friends are for. Distraction. Feeling better. Talking about unnecessary shit. And that’s the reason why Harry liked Zayn so much. Why he was his best friend. He stopped asking about things that were out of his business. He just waited until Harry came to tell him about.

***

So it happened that their routine changed a little bit. What used to be sex and a lied ‘I love you’ got to sex, cuddle, sleep next to each other, a kiss goodbye and a lied ‘I love you’.

You can’t imagine how happy Louis got. As long as he pretended Harry meant what he said he was happy. Smiling more and sassy as he used to be.

Harry on the other hand got more confused every time. As soon as the door fell shut behind him a frown appeared on his beautiful face and it stayed there till he was again with Louis.

Harry walked next to Zayn and Niall through the corridor of the school heading to the next period. It was Friday and his friends were already making plans for the weekend. (What meant party, alcohol, and sex – the usual.) Harry didn’t listen. He would follow Zayn to the party he decided to go, would write a short message to Louis to show up there and after a few hours of just getting shit-faced he would go home with Louis for some drunken or stoned sex.

They were passing the lockers as it happened.

“So you are in love again, Harold?”

Harry immediately snapped out of his thoughts running into the next locker, hitting his face and going down with a painful groan.

“Gosh Harry! Keep your eyes open! Where have you been with your thoughts?” Zayn helped him up while Niall laughed his ass of next to him.

“Your question shocked me.” He groaned again and rubbed his hurting nose.

“What did you make thinking that?” He asked and tried to look down to his nose.

Zayn smiled sheepishly. “You normally got home right after the party or right after you fucked the happy guy you chose. But you started staying out the whole night, coming home for breakfast. You don’t take a single guy home with you anymore and I never spotted you making out with one at a party. You just disappear and appear the next morning again. You were sitting on the couch with cup of tea looking like you went through a nerve wrecking relationship fight. Let’s say you started acting different.”

What Zayn didn’t know was that Harry took Louis home to their flat. But just when he knew Zayn was out at Niall’s or Liam’s and would stay there for some time. And Louis knew that he only could come over as long as Harry was alone at the flat.

Harry cocked an eyebrow. “What I went through is still my business. And I have to admit that a good fuck in the morning is not so bad.”

Niall shrugged. “As long as you stay happy like that I’m fine with it.”

And Harry was.


	11. Chapter 10

But the time Harry started to warm and open up to Louis again, the time Harry stayed longer with Louis cuddling, joking around, watching random movies or sometimes cooking something, the time his little lie started becoming the truth again; it all went down again.

Like something made of glass falling down on the floor. You see it falling in slow-motion and you know what would happen next but you just could stand there and watch it breaking.

Zayn was out the whole weekend, visiting Liam’s parents. Harry started thinking that the both guys might or might not be a thing. It was strange expecting Zayn in a relationship. Cuddling with someone and caring about something different then his hair.

So Harry invited Louis over to spend the weekend with him. The time from saying ‘goodbye’ to Zayn and when Louis finally show up Harry got more nervous with every second that went by. He would never admit it, but he was looking forward to be the whole weekend with Louis. He managed to make Niall believe he was ill – like throwing up and coughing like he was about to die ill – so the blonde Irish boy wouldn’t appear out of nowhere at his door.

As the doorbell rang Harry shot up, opened the door and a big dimple showing smile appeared on his face as he saw Louis standing there in some grey sweatpants, hanging low on his hips and a black Tee with a jeans jacket and a dark red beanie. He had his hands buried in his pockets and he smiled lightly up to Harry.

And all the curly haired boy wanted to do was pulling Louis in his arms, kissing him ‘hello’ and never let him go for the whole weekend. At the same time he slightly shook his head to get rid of the crazy wish in his mind.

“So… Might I come in?” Louis asked and tipped with his shoe on the ground, his smile getting bigger.

“Uhm. Yeah. Sorry. Come in.” The younger boy mumbled and stepped aside to let Louis in. He was still a little bit confused because of the need to hug and kiss Louis.

The older boy placed his bag in a corner in the living room and threw his vans in another corner. “So what are we gonna do?” He leaned against the doorframe.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “Are you hungry? What about cookies?”

Louis nodded enthusiastically. “Double choc?”

The younger one rolled his eyes with a grin and started putting out the ingredients for the dough and mixing them.

“Louis; stop it!” He yelled and tried to push Louis away with a bounce of his hip as Louis tried to dip his fingers in the dough. But Louis wrapped his arms around him, pressing against his back and reaching out for the bowl full of raw cookie dough.

“I just want to pinch a bit!” Louis complained.

“Here you go.” Harry spread a hand full of cookie dough across Louis face; laughing because of his surprised expression.

“Wait you curly bastard! That’s calling for revenge!” The smaller boy jumped on Harrys back, grapping some dough and flour throwing it in Harrys face.

As Louis slid down of the other boys back, Harry took some eggs, hid behind the opened freezer and started throwing them in Louis direction.

Both boys screamed and laughed every time something hit them. Just a few minutes later both were covered in flour, eggs, dough and sugar; still laughing. Louis took Harrys hand, slipping one finger in his mouth, sucking on it.

“Hmmm… tastes good.” He hummed and locked his eyes with the younger boy’s emerald colored ones.

His heart started pounding harder and faster against his ribs, his cheeks flushed in a light pink, his lips slight opened. Louis licked the dough from his finger, never breaking the eye contact.

Harry pulled Louis closer, pressing his lips against the smaller boy’s thin ones; he ran his hands over his body, feeling every delicate curve under his fingertips. Louis shivered and opened his mouth a little bit; Harry slipped his tongue in his mouth teasing him.

“Shower.” Harry mumbled against Louis lips and the other boy just nodded; stumbling backward, trying not to hit against a wall.

As they reached the bathroom they were completely naked, their dirty clothes spread all over the floor.

They stepped in the shower; lips never leaving the others, hands everywhere, breath fasted up and hearts pounding.

The warm water fell down on their heated bodies, washing away the dough and flour. Harry pressed Louis against the cold wall, causing him to hiss sharply as his back touched the cold surface. He buried his hands in Harry’s wet curls, pulling him closer for a simple and innocent kiss.

It didn’t stay so innocent for so long. Harry grabbed Louis hips, lifting him up a little bit and the older one wrapped his legs around Harry’s torso. Louis moaned, scratching his nails over the taller boys back, leaving bloody tracks, sucking and licking on Harry’s sweet spot.

“Lou, no marks…” Harry whispered, breathe hitching.

“You are mine.” The other one simply answered, continuing sucking on another spot, leaving a dark purple love bite.

“Lou, no. Everyone can see…” The boy with the curly hair tried again.

“You. Are. Mine.” Louis bit down with every word.

Harry moaned against Louis wet skin, cupping the older boys ass cheeks with his large hands, squeezing them.

The whole weekend went on with the both boys having some sexy time against nearly every surface in the flat (Zayn’s going to freak out – but who cares?).

For both it felt like the old times were back. Louis became perfect in pretending when Harry said ‘I love you’ he meant it. Deep inside he knew it was just the lie he wanted to hear. But pretending never killed someone.

When they were about to fall asleep Saturday night Louis had the feeling he called Harry more often Daddy than his real father. But that was okay. Because Harry loved to dominate him and Louis loved to please him. So there was a big smile plastered across his thin pink lips when he cuddled further to Harry, feeling the younger boy wrapping his arms around him and he drifted into sleep.

Sunday morning Louis opened his eyes slowly feeling completely sore down in his lower region. He turned around, wanted to wrap his arms around Harry’s torso for a final cuddle round. But the bed was all empty and cold. No still asleep Harry with dark curls spread all over the white pillow. He sat up, rubbed his eyes and slowly stood up to search for the younger boy.

***

Half an hour earlier Harry woke up by the vibration of his mobile. He took a quick look at the caller ID and unwrapped Louis’ arms from his chest, getting up, slipping in a pair of sweatpants and walked out the room.

He opened the front door with a small smile, greeting the older man, standing in front of him.

“Harold! How have you been?” The man asked and pulled Harry into a thigh hug.

“Morning, Des. I’ve been good. Want a cuppa?” Harry led Des to the kitchen.

It has been a long time ago since he has seen his father the last time. Nearly a year. He was glad Des showed up. They always had a good talk. And he always could talk about his feelings and thoughts with him. Des told him that there was nothing to be ashamed of being gay or bi. He was the first person he told about ‘it’. And as he introduced Louis to his family years ago, Des acted like this possessive dads (If you break my son’s heart, I’ll break your bones.).

Harry placed the cup with tea in front of his dad and took a sip from his own cup. He felt Des gaze rating over his body. But he didn’t mind. This was clearly not the first time Des saw him with scratches and hickeys littering his skin. He saw him more than once freshly fucked. And he never minded. Except this time.

“Had a girl over night?” He asked with a wink.

Harry head fell back and he laughed out loud.

“I thought you were over the fact that I’m gay, Des? I had some one over, yes.” He answered playfully and gave his dad a dimple showing smile, thoughts at the boy in his bed.

They dropped this topic and talked about what was going on at home and how his mum and Gemma have been. They laughed as Des mimicked Gemma and he told Harry about a trip they had planned for the upcoming holidays and that they wanted Harry to come with them.

Harry was about to tell Des abut the last party he attended as he saw how Des gaze was fixed on something behind him. Then he heard a high-pitched morning voice.

“You coming back to bed Harry…?”

***

Louis walked in the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and yawned.

“You coming back to bed Harry…?” He asked and froze as he saw that Harry was not alone. He gasped as he recognized Des next to Harry, just looking at him with an unemotional expression.

He stumbled back.

“Oh. Uhm. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” He stuttered, voice shaking, his body slowly getting numb.

Des cocked his head. “Louis. How long has it been?”

His voice was so cold. And Louis knew that he rather run then stay here.

“T-two years. Round about.” He answered quietly.

Harry’s father nodded slowly. “Long time, isn’t it?” His gaze still fixed on the trembling boy.

“S-sure. I’ll wait in your room, Harry.” He mumbled and left the room as fast as he could.

The feelings of seeing Des again completely overwhelmed Louis and his body went numb, his view got blurry as he ran back to Harry’s bedroom.

***

Harry turned back to Des. “We are okay again. You don’t have to act like you wanted to break every single bone in his body.” Harry chuckled.

Des smiled lightly. “As long as you are happy, I’m okay with it.”

Both went silent for a moment.

“He still adores you, doesn’t he?” Des started again, looking down to his hands.

Harry shrugged, slightly blushing. “Might.”

“How long exactly has it been now?”

“Two and a half years.” Harry felt a strange feeling down in stomach. This was not right. It was wrong to bring the past up again. It hurt to tear the scars open again.

“After all this time he still adores you. That must be true love.” If anybody different then Des had said that, this would have sounded like a statement. Like something good. But Des voice was filled with sarcasm and Harry could feel his heart crack.

He cleared his throat and picked at his nails, not able say something.

“You should go back to your… to Louis.” Des smiled and Harry could tell that was a fake smile. It didn’t reach Des’ eyes and Harry knew which words Des held back.

Slut. Whore. Needy boy. Toy.

That was what Des called Louis after he left. And it seemed like he didn’t changed his opinion yet.

The curly haired boy nodded and gave Des a small wave as he left the flat.

Harry closed the door, leaning his head against it and tried to take a few deep breaths.

Maybe it wasn’t his best idea to walk around half naked. His body was literally screaming ‘freshly fucked’. He had to know that if Des would find out he had Louis over he wouldn’t be pleased.

Well, now it was too late to start wondering what he should have done and what not.

Instead of complaining about it Harry decided to go back to Louis and cuddle, kiss and fuck the feathery haired boy until Zayn was about to come back.

He walked back to his room.

“Lou? I’m sorry I…” He immediately stopped as he realized his room was all empty.

“Lou?” He yelled and turned around.

The younger boy started looking in his wardrobe, under the bed, in the bathroom, the living room. Everywhere.

“Louis! Come out! That’s not funny!” He screamed, his heart pounding hard against his ribs.

He ran back to his room, searching for Louis’ things. But there were nothing left. His clothes, his shoes, his bag – all gone.

Harry tore the bed sheets back, hoping Louis would hide under them, jumping up and kissing him. But all he found was a small black leather bracelet. Louis’ bracelet. Harry remembered it. Louis never took it off. Not even in the shower.

Harry leaned against the wall, sliding down; pressing the bracelet against his body and a broken sob escaped his lips as he realized Louis was gone.

And all he left was his bracelet.


	12. Chapter 11

“The number you are calling has been changed…”

“The number you are calling has been changed…”

“The number you are calling has been changed…”

“The number you are…”

“HOLY SHIT, STYLES!” Zayn screamed, grabbed Harry’s mobile and switched it off.

“Whoever you are trying to call, he or she changed the number. So stop it. Please!” He pleaded and took Harry’s hands in his own.

Harry sat on the couch, legs crisscrossed, gaze going nowhere.

It was now three weeks ago since Louis left again. Harry first thought he left, that he could have his talk with Des. He hoped they’d meet again at school. But Louis didn’t show up. He tried to call him. Every day. But Louis changed his number. Then he went over to Louis flat. Sitting in front of the door for hours, knocking till his knuckles were bloody. He did this for more than a week until a neighbor came over and told him Louis moved out. So Harry decided to wait after class for Louis. But he found out Louis changed his classes. The curly haired boy never saw him in the cafeteria or in the hallway. It was like the other boy never existed at all.

Harry lost his dimple showing smile, his eyes stopped shining bright and his skin went pale. He stopped talking to anyone. Just sitting on his spot on the couch and calling Louis over and over again. He didn’t tell one of his friend why he acted like that. That Louis caused this problem.

Zayn knew that exactly the same happened two and a half years ago. Harry told him what happened. But never; who left him the last time. So Zayn didn’t know who left Harry this time. The boy he once could read like an open book was not the same anymore. Zayn didn’t know Harry anymore.

The raven haired boy has watched Harry long enough braking. Now he couldn’t stand it anymore. He had to do something.

“Haz, talk to me. Please!” He begged.

“I want my best friend back. I know he’s in there anywhere. What happened to you, Haz?” Harry didn’t answer. Just tears started rushing down his cheeks and Zayn pulled the boy into a heartwarming hug.

“He left.” Harry sobbed, barely hearable.

Zayn pulled back. “What? Haz, what did you say?” His eyes went wide. Harry talked. He started talking.

“He left, Z.” The younger boy hiccupped and buried his face in the crook of Zayn’s neck, crying his eyes out like he never did before.

“You want to talk about it?” Zayn whispered; drawing small circles on Harry’s back. The boy shook his head. “Should I distract you a little?” Harry nodded.

“Niall is going to throw a big party for Halloween. Well, I know there are still two month to go till then. But you know him. This party has to be perfect.” Zayn chuckled lightly.

“Talking about our Irish friend, he was so furious the past weeks. Can you imagine him going through the roof? He was literally fuming. Well I would be angry too, if you change your classes out of a sudden. I don’t know what caused Louis to change his whole schedule. He moved, too. Did you know that? Nobody knows what got into him. Niall told me he’s acting strange lately.” Zayn felt as Harry stiffed at his words.

“Everything alright? Did I say something wrong?” He asked and tried to look in Harry’s eyes. But the younger boy avoided his gaze.

Harry started sobbing again, his whole body shaking.

“Oh Haz. Was it because I talked about Louis?” Zayn mumbled and a quiet cry escaped Harry’s lips.

And this was the moment Zayn knew it was because of Louis.

Harry stiffed because Zayn talked about Louis.

Harry stopped talking because of Louis.

Harry stopped smiling because of Louis.

Harry got depressed because of Louis.

Because Louis left.

“This little bastard…” Zayn hissed and reached out for his phone to call Liam.

“No… please not.” Harry whispered, tears shining in his green eyes, lip trembling and hands shaking.

“He broke you, Harry! What do you want me to do?” Zayn got furious because of Harry’s stubbornness.

“I want you to listen.”

And Zayn listened.

Harry told him how it all started with Louis more than five years ago. As they bumped into each other and fell in love. As Louis showed him that it was okay to love a boy. As his first kiss happened with Louis after a high school party and Harry got drunk and Louis tried to tuck him into his bed. As he experienced his first sexual interactions and how careful and soft Louis was. Everything. How deep in love Harry was with Louis. How scared he was to introduce Louis to his parents. How happy he was to finally move in with Louis as he got eighteen. How Louis disappeared one day to another.

Harry didn’t leave a simple thing out. He wanted Zayn to know what happened in his past. Why he was the person he is now.

And Zayn sat next to him, nodding from time to time and listened. He didn’t say a single word. He just wrapped his arms around Harry as the younger boy told him what happened the last weeks. And his heart broke as Harry told him he finally fell in love again with the older boy.

What was this little sassy bitch thinking? Coming back and then leaving again?

Zayn wished that Karma would slap him right in the face before he gets the chance for this.

“Haz, I know this sounds hard, but you really have to get over it. He left you twice. He made it nearly impossible for you to find him again. I think he made it clear what he wanted.” Zayn said, knowing he would hurt Harry with his words.

“I know.” The younger boy stopped crying and sobbing. “You help me, right?”

Zayn nodded. “Sure thing. Don’t ever think I would leave you.”

A small smile crept on Harry’s lips.

***

Zayn helped Harry getting stronger again. They talked through the night. Harry faced his fears and the past, learned how to handle it. The raven haired boy was always by his side, helping him through situations where his walls started crumbling down again.

Harry saw Zayn screaming at Niall for still talking to Louis and it made him smile; although he felt sorry for his Irish friend. He started going to parties again. Not staying sober for longer than ten minutes. He also started smoking weed. Sometimes with Zayn, laughing their asses off because of nothing or alone, sitting in a corner and giggling like a toddler. The only thing that changed the most was he stopped hooking up with guys.

He buried his feelings deep back in his mind. He made it unable for them to pop up again. The only persons who he showed some feelings to, were his friends. Zayn, Liam (it turned out the boys were a thing – Harry knew it!) and Niall (he tried to say sorry for Zayn screaming at him; but the Irish guy just waved it off with his heartwarming smile).

***

Days turned to weeks.

Weeks turned to month.

And finally it was Halloween.

Zayn and Liam had to beg for more than two weeks to finally get Harry to dress up and put on a costume. You can’t imagine how the both (mature!) boys were jumping and screaming around, like some eight years old, after Harry agreed. Maybe they shouldn’t have shared a pot before.

But after they handed the curly haired boy his costume (they promised to take care about it), he wished he hadn’t agreed at all. Liam forced him into the costume and Zayn giggled like a school girl as he did Harry’s make up.

“Such a good boy.” He cooed and tapped with a finger on Harry’s nose.

“Just because I’m dressed like a kitten doesn’t mean you can interact like that with me.” He huffed and crossed his arms.

“C’mon Harry. And just because Liam is dressed like Batman doesn’t mean he couldn’t save anybody tonight.” Zayn shot back and tapped one last time against Harry’s nose.

Harry rolled his eyes, slightly smiling and followed his friends to into the living room to share a last joint before heating over to Niall’s.

“Nuh uh. Z, you have to wear your hair a little bit messy. You are a pirate. Pirates aren’t perfectly styled.” Liam mumbled and ran his fingers through Zayn’s dark hair.

Harry’s jaw dropped (and if it wasn’t connected to his face it would have fallen on the ground) as Zayn closed his eyes and enjoyed Liam’s touch instead of growling and kicking him in the face for touching his hair.

“Gosh. This relationship changed you my friend.” Harry patted his friend’s back and entered the flat.

***

Niall’s flat was crowded with people in costumes. Spider webs and pumpkins were placed everywhere and Harry had to admit – Niall did well with decorating his flat. He entered the kitchen, looking for some alcohol to do something against the point that he was completely sober.

On the counters were plates, filled with burgers, pizza and more snacks – all Halloween themed. Niall with his food obsession. Harry grabbed a red cup and filled it with vodka. He didn’t even want to mix it. Pure was the best. He took a sip and scrunched his nose at the bitter taste.

The crowd cheered at some people during some drunken games, others were making out (everywhere – you couldn’t escape them) and others were puking in bins, toilets and the sink. It was a typical party night. The only thing that was different – everybody was dressed up in costumes. That might make it more difficult to remember with who you hooked up or who might have seen you.

Harry took some shots with a girl dressed up as a zombie cheerleader and some guys with matching zombie footballer costumes. It seemed like Halloween gave them the permission to dress as slutty as possible and nobody would mind it.

He walked through the flat, talking with random people, taking shots, drinking loads of vodka, smoking some weed and finally getting really shit-faced. He completely lost his time sense and thanks to some drugs he might or might not have taken he saw everything in crazy colors. His view was blurry and his mind was completely fuzzy. He nearly didn’t even realize as someone bumped into him.

“Sorry…” The curly haired boy froze as he recognized the high-pitched voice. He would recognize this voice even in his deepest intoxication.

“Louis.” He did his best to sound sober. To be honest, just the fact he bumped into Louis after month of searching for him cleared his mind way better then every cold shower and sobering sleep could have done.

It felt like a punch directly in the face, making his breath hitch and a strange feeling crept up his stomach making him wanna throw up right there. He felt the need to stop him from walking away.

The smaller boy was about to turn around and disappear in the crowd again, but Harry reached out and held him back by grabbing his wrist. It felt strange to touch Louis again after everything that happened between them. Even if it was just a rough grip. He hissed because just the touch with Louis skin made his skin burn like he was on fire. Just this simple connection caused him so much pain he barely could stand it. Harry spin the older boy around, forcing him to face him.

“H-Harry… let go…” Louis whined and under other circumstances his voice and his face expression would have broken Harry’s heart. But you can’t break something that is already shattered into a million pieces, can you? So Harry just shrugged it off.

But the longer he stood there, across from Louis; he felt his feelings trying to get out of the cage he locked them in. His head started pounding as he started fighting against it. It was a fight he had to win. Otherwise he would break more than he ever thought it would be possible. His fingertips went cold and numb, so did his legs and his whole body. He suppressed the need to tell Louis how much he missed him and to cry out loud because he left. He suppressed all his feelings because the only thing they did was making him weak. Feelings never make strong – just weak. So he decided to go for the opposite and the anger started bubbling up in his stomach.

He pressed Louis against the next wall, fixing him with his hands. “Your plan failed, right? We met again, sadly. What are you going to do about it? Leave the country? Change your name?” He growled.

“I just want you to know what you did to me, Louis. You know, the first time you left me, it would have been forgiven. I already was about to forgive you. Quite a surprise, isn’t it? I was about to let the past be what it actually was – the past. But then you left me the second time. You didn’t call me; you fucking moved and changed your number! And now? I don’t think forgiveness is something you should ever experience anymore. I hope you feel something like guilty. If you even could feel anything. To me it seems like you can’t. You are just the selfish person you already have been two years ago. Disgusting I’ve ever loved someone like you.”

Louis tried to push him away; tears welling in his blue eyes. “Don’t judge my choices without understanding my reasons!”

Harry laughed in bitterness. “How could I understand your reasons when you refuse to explain them? You can’t just come into someone’s life, make them feel special, and then leave.”

Harry dropped his arms and a sad expression crept on his face. His green eyes shimmered dark and Louis heart broke at this sight.

“Harry, I’m sorry…” He started but got interrupted by the younger boy.

“Don’t be sorry. I trusted you. My mistake, not yours.”


	13. Chapter 12

The time after Niall’s Halloween party was the hardest. Harry got back to his not-speaking-depressed-self and Zayn could barely stand it anymore. Harry’s depression made him depressed and Liam was about to go crazy because of that. He really liked Zayn, but he hated to be around two depressed boys not talking or doing something at all. And before he would punch anyone he took Zayn out to town. Just some time alone, talking, eating, and shopping.

Liam really enjoyed being near to Zayn. The boy with the raven colored hair had such an interesting character, Liam wanted to know everything about him. His favorite meal, color, animal, how he would expect a perfect date and so on. Well he already knew how Zayn would expect a perfect fuck but that was just a bonus and Liam shivered at the thought of the last time.

“Are you freezing?” The deep voice made Liam shiver again.

“Er… No. It’s alright. I need some new boxing gloves…” He smiled and leaned in Zayn’s touch as the other boy wrapped his arm around his waist.

It took them the whole day to find Liam’s (how Zayn would say) fucking dumb boxing gloves. Zayn complained about how this (again recited) fucking wind destroyed his hair and he pouted for the rest of the day. Liam got slightly annoyed by Zayn’s on holding complaining and forced him to the nearest restaurant to get something in the other boy’s stomach so he would stop telling Liam how hungry he was.

The last light of the sunset shone through the (really) huge windows of the restaurant and Liam was (really) happy they got a table right at one of this windows. The view was breathtaking (We are not talking about Zayn here. We all know he’s a Greek god.) They ordered some soda (whoever thought they’d order some wine – they prefer vodka. And weed. It’s still a huge step to take to get them so classy to order wine), Liam chose some pasta and Zayn went for an extra spicy peperoni pizza.

They talked and laughed a lot and just enjoyed the time together. Both boys were glad they had some time off of Harry. They really loved their curly haired mate but his moods were unbearable. They wanted to punch Louis for what he did to the younger boy. They didn’t know what Louis reasons were to act like a dick and all they could do was watching their friend breaking. And if you ever saw a best made the way destroyed Harry was, you could understand how helpless the other boys felt.

Their food arrived and just the smell made Liam’s stomach twist. And hell, it tasted as good as it smelled. A small moan escaped Zayn’s lips as he took the first bite of his pizza. Liam immediately stopped his actions and tried to concentrate on his pasta.

Old lady. Grumpy cat. Feet. Baby diapers. Zayn’s moan – Fuck.

Liam tried to distract himself by thinking about random things which were a totally turn off. But then again – Zayn moaned. Liam’s grip around his fork got stronger and his knuckles turned white.

“Hmmm… tastes so good…” Zayn groaned and as Liam lifted his gaze he started liking the red pizza sauce from his fingers, his eyes fixed on Liam.

This little bastard knew he turned Liam on with his moan. And he clearly didn’t plan to stop soon with his little show.

“Do you really want me to come in my pants right here?” Liam hissed as Zayn placed his hand on Liam’s thigh, slowly stroking in the direction of Liam’s now definitely hard member.

The other boy just shrugged and kept on liking his fingers and moaning because of the delicious pizza.

Liam took a sharp breath and his fork fell down on his plate with a loud sound. “Zayn… please.” He pleaded.

“You started begging. I like it. Maybe I should keep on going.” Zayn whispered in his ear, his hot breath gliding over his neck, making him shiver.

“I’m serious. Please stop it.” Liam closed his eyes. He couldn’t help. He was just a guy and Zayn was total turn on. Not even you could resist him – even if you wanted to.

A small rough laugh escaped Zayn’s lips, he bite down on Liam’s earlobe and pulled back. Now he sat there, eating his pizza, happily munching like nothing happened before. He winked at Liam.

“Close your mouth, babe.” He chuckled and tapped against Liam’s jaw.

“You are a little bastard, you know that?” Liam growled and started eating his pasta again.

Zayn shrugged. “You love me anyway.”

Liam didn’t respond. They never said ‘I love you’. It didn’t felt right. They weren’t even dating properly. Yeah, Zayn met his parents. But that wasn’t that a big deal. Most of his friends met his parents. He liked it if they knew the people he’s hanging out with. But he could tell his parents clearly knew that there would come the day he’d tell them Zayn is not that kind of a friend he first introduced him as.

Zayn didn’t mind Liam to give him an answer. He never expected one at all.

He swallowed one piece of pizza.

“So what are we going to do about Harry? We can’t just let him be.” He started a deep frown on his beautiful face.

Liam pushed his pasta around on his plate. “I really don’t know. It’s not like we can show up at Louis’ door and force him to tell us everything. There’s nothing he could lose. So why should he even open his mouth?”

“But there have to be reasons! At least; one reason. It’s not like you are all happy and cheesy and stuff and then you disappear just because you faced his Dad out of a sudden.” Zayn gesticulated and huffed.

“Beside… did you ever meet Harry’s parents?” Liam asked.

“No. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious; that’s all. But back to the main topic…” Liam started but both boys’ attention immediately got caught by a couple discussing in front of the restaurant.

There were a woman with long chocolate colored hair and a man (might or might not have a little bit too much weigh on his hips) with short grey hair discussing and gesturing.

They screamed at each other deep frowns on their faces, eyes shining with anger. They were literally fuming.

Liam cleared his throat and both boys tried to concentrate on their food.

They tried even harder as the couple entered the restaurant and got the table right next to them.

To be honest the man and the woman didn’t even try to be at least a little bit quiet.

“Are you kidding me? I thought you accepted it the first time he came to tell you!” The woman shot the man a death glare. (Really, you wouldn’t want to swap with the man this moment.)

“Accepted? Why in hell should I do something like that? I thought it was just a phase! Hell how could I know he would keep on being… like this.” The man scrunched his face is disgust like someone held a very bad smelling shoe under his nose.

The brown haired woman threw her hands up and a laugh escaped her lips.

“Oh c’mon, Des. Stop talking like it is so bad. He’s your freaking son! And even if it’s a phase or not you should love him like he is. Gay or not gay.”

You could tell this was the point Liam and Zayn listened up. Both exchanged a glare and tried keeping on eating unobtrusively; silently listening to their conversation. It got kind of interesting.

“Sure he is my son! But this boy keeps making him gay! That’s abnormal.” The man scuffed and waved at a waiter.

“You CAN’T make someone gay. You are gay or you are not gay. It’s not like being homosexual is a disease. It just kinda happens.” The woman tried to explain and you clearly can hear the despair in her voice.

“I thought I made it clear last time that something like that wouldn’t happen again. But you know what? I was at his flat. And there was this… boy again. He started hooking up with him again! And I thought I made it clear enough last time…” The man was furious.

He was really intimidating and Zayn wondered how this woman could still be totally calm. Well, she had more balls then he would have had this moment.

“What do you mean ‘making it clear last time’?” She asked and Liam shivered. She was so calm right now. To calm; to be honest. Her voice was cold and he could literally see how the water in their glasses froze.

“As I said. Didn’t you hear me the first time? Last time I made clear this Tomlinson-boy would never show up again.” The man – they guessed his name was Des – hissed.

By mentioning the name Zayn swallowed and started coughing. Liam’s face went completely pale and after Zayn kicked his knee he started patting his back to help him.

The woman stood up, took her purse, slapped the man right across his face and left without a glare back.

The man rolled his eyes; threw some pounds on the table and hurried after the woman.

Liam and Zayn sat there, completely quiet; just staring at each other trying to progress what just happened.

“Well at first: Thanks Liam for rescuing me.” Zayn caught again dramatically to make sure he was waving the sarcasm sign at Liam. “Second: Am I the only one feeling like living in a fucking cheesy Hollywood movie?”

“Count me in.” Liam huffed and rubbed his hands across his face. This was all so fucking complicated. Why can’t this be easy for just one time? Karma. That’s why.

“I guess we kinda met Harry’s parents.” Zayn mumbled and crushed his forehead against the table, making the dishes clash.

Liam hummed in response. “Maybe there is more than one boy around here with the name ‘Tomlinson’?” He conjectured.

Zayn raised an eyebrow and slapped Liam’s back of head. “Yeah exactly. There might be a hundred of guys named Tomlinson and they all are gay! That might be difficult to find out which one is the right one.”

Liam was about to say something but Zayn interrupted him.

“Oh c’mon; Liam! Use the brain god gave to you! I’m sure they were talking about Louis. We just have to find out what this guy did to him to make him leave Harry.” Zayn scratched the back of his head.

“Oh dear that’s so cheesy. You know, like in these novels. There is the perfect couple torn apart by the parents and there are this true friends doing everything to find out why and what happened to bring them back together and then they’ll live happily forever and after. Wedding, kids and stuff.” Liam smiled.

Zayn gagged. “Ouh. God. And I thought I fucked this kind of thinking out of you. You could be so cheesy, Liam.”

But then he started smiling though. Maybe – just maybe – this was one of the reasons he liked Liam. He could be so cheesy and lovey dovey sometimes. He could be such a dreamer and all romantic (Zayn’s a realist. Face it. He’ll never make fruits with chocolate and feed them to Liam.)

Liam just shrugged his smile still on his face. (He was sure he’ll get Zayn to feed him strawberries dipped in chocolate one day.)

“Well I would have said we should go and ask Louis what he has to say…” Zayn started and Liam nodded enthusiastically. Sometimes he was really like that little puppy that his big brown eyes make him looks alike.

“But we don’t know where he lives now.” The raven haired boy ended his sentence and Liam frowned. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, completely ignoring Zayn’s asking expression and dialed a number.

After a few moments the person on the other line picked up.

“Hey Niall. I know you promised Lou not to tell anyone where he lives now. But you own me something for this one time you had your dick up my ass…” Liam smirked and winked at Zayn.


	14. Chapter 13

When the times are bad you are used to live in memories. Good memories. Happy memories. And so Harry did. He never left his spot on the couch for a minute, wrapped in blankets, slightly rocking forth and back. Basically he was there. His body was in the flat on the couch wrapped in blankets. His mind was far away. Back in the past more than five years ago somewhere lost in the wide halls of a high school.

***

Harry turned around biting on his lower lip. He really had no clue where to go. It was his first day (he moved to a new town) at this High School and he already felt like the little nerdy boy who won’t get any friends. He sighed and wrapped his arms stronger around his books. The other people here ran around bumping into him not caring if he dropped his books or not. Harry got more scared about this school with every moment passing. No one tried to talk to him. They just shove him around and laugh when his books fell down. He felt tears burning in his eyes and he ran through the corridor to the next toilet.

Maybe he could hide. Maybe it would get better if he stay in there. Maybe this horrible day would be over soon. Harry thought that he really had to have a serious conversation with karma when he walked in the toilet backwards, turned around and (again) bumped into someone.

“Oops…” He stuttered and tried to pick up his books.

“Hi.” There was this high-pitched voice.

And Harry couldn’t help but looked up and his eyes met the most beautiful blue eyes he ever seen in his 15 year old life.

The other boy smiled and handed him some of his books. Harry still stood there not able to move. The boy in front of him had feathery kind of caramel colored hair, thin lips and he was just a few inches taller than him. He was dressed in some red chinos, a white shirt with black stripes, suspenders and black TOMs (he still dresses like this – even years later).

“So… You could talk, couldn’t you?” The boy asked, still smiling.

“Uh yeah. Sorry.” Harry mumbled blushing in a deep red.

The boy laughed and Harry got goosebumps all over his body. That was definitely one of his most favorite sounds now.

He held a hand out. “I’m Louis by the way.”

Harry took his hand and really if he was made out of wax or something like that he would have melted right now. Louis squeezed his hand and gave him a wink.

“I’m Harry.” He answered his cheeks still in a slight pink shade.

“So Harry. I guess you are new here. Let me show you this building of nightmares.” Louis grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled him out of the toilet.

This day Harry made his first friend at this school. Louis showed him everything. Every single room, every single blade of grass out on the football field. He made some funny comments here and there causing Harry to laugh and slap his hands over his mouth because his laugh was really loud and he thought it wasn’t the nicest sound you could confront your ears with.

But Louis just smiled and kept on talking. Rambling about football and his favorite courses and why he thought the teachers were just kind of bored of teaching the students here. He introduced Harry more or less to the school jerks, the slutty bitches, the nerdy gang, the football team (Louis played as well) and to every single book in the library (well not really but to Harry it felt like that).

Louis was a really smart guy and he was nice and joking and funny and Harry couldn’t stop thinking about him. He lied in his bed smiling like an idiot thoughts circling around this blue eyed guy from school. And if he’d know that the moment he bumped into him was the moment his so loved karma would start playing his tricks on him he would have refused to go to school this day.

***

Harry sighed and rubbed with his hands over his face. He could remember the day he met Louis like it was just yesterday. How it felt to look in his eyes for the first moment. How it was to hear his laugh for the first time. His touch, his voice, his everything. And for no reason young Harry was head over heels from the first moment on for this guy with the high-pitched voice, the ocean blue eyes and the caramel colored and feathery hair.

Harry leaned back and closed his eyes. Immediately the next wave of memories surged over him.

***

 

Harry sat legs crisscrossed on the floor of Louis’ bedroom, a pencil between his lips and a deep frown on his face. He wasn’t that good in math and he was glad Louis offered to help him. Seemed like a great idea to him: study and being around Louis. Well it turned out it wasn’t that great idea. Louis was just as bad as Harry in math (you could say he was worse) and all they did was joking around and talking about random stuff.

But this time Harry really did something for this course he hated so much (he was sure this feeling was mutual.). He had known Louis now for more than half a year and he might or might not had a little crush on him. But he’d never admit it. Who would say ‘Hi that’s my best friend and I’ve a crush on him.’? That would sound a little scary. So Harry kept it as his little secret and just gave Louis a dimple showing smile when the two-year-older boy started acting like they were deeply in love just to play his tricks on his friends and the other students.

Louis had no clue about Harry’s crush though it was really obviously. But the boy with the wild curly hair was glad his friend didn’t notice. So things didn’t get strange and awkward between them.

Back to this day Harry really did something for his course, sitting legs crisscrossed on Louis floor. Louis just fooled around like always and Harry had to throw more than three pillows in his direction to make him stop his distracting actions.

The problem with Louis was: he got bored really fast.

“Haaaaarold…” He whined and sat down right behind Harry.

The younger boy tensed but didn’t turn around. He knew Louis wanted this and there was no way he was about to give him what he wanted.

Louis made a small sound of dissatisfaction and wrapped his arms around Harry’s torso. The younger boy could feel the others breathe on his neck, making him shiver.

“C’mon Harry. Let’s do something different. Something fun. Math isn’t fun.” He whispered and leaned his chin on Harry’s shoulder.

Harry’s heart beat got faster and his breathe hitched as he turned around slightly just to be pushed down to the ground, grinning Louis above him.

“Drop that, yeah? Let’s play some X-box.” And then Louis came closer again. Harry could smell Louis scent. A little bit like cinnamon. And apples. Harry’s eyes flickered between Louis’ blue ones and his pretty thin pink lips. Could he kiss him now? Or would he destroy their friendship?

The curly haired lad was still fighting the inner war between ‘kiss him’ and ‘push him away’. Louis leaned little more in, now just centimeter away from Harry’s lips. His eyes were glued on the other boy’s lips and all he wanted was to know how they taste. How they would feel against his own. And Louis was about to connect their lips. He was about to find out how their lips felt against each other. He was about to kiss him. And every one would have noticed it – but not Harry. Young innocent Harry cleared his throat and stuttered some words that X-box would be nice.

So Louis pulled back, a disappointed expression flashing over his face but seconds later there was the happy smiling guy again and Harry shrugged the expression off like something he just had imagined.

***

That would have been Harry’s first kiss. He was just fifteen what do you expect? But how fortune wanted it he got the chance for a first kiss just a few months later. Shortly after his 16th birthday. 

***

Harry has been invited to a High School party. His first real party. He has been to some with Louis before but the older lad always had an eye on him. So he never got the chance to touch some alcohol or even get near to it. So you could tell he kind of enjoyed his first party without Louis and being (finally) sixteen so no one bothered if he was running around with his fifth cup filled with vodka after one hour of being there.

Louis on the other hand had to fight his first football match without Harry watching and cheering at him. He scanned the grandstand for about thousand times but never saw the familiar mop of curls bouncing up and down. To say he was disappointed would be a big understatement. He ran around like they already lost and he shot more than two times next to the goal. The whole game was a shame. And Louis was ashamed after they lost so damn high they had to win every after game to win the cup.

Louis didn’t know where Harry was exact this time. He didn’t know his best friend was jumping around completely pissed and singing songs with people he didn’t even know. He didn’t know that Harry was at a party enjoying himself. The only thing he knew was that it was Harry’s fault that he lost. And he was literally fuming.

While Louis got home from his game, completely upset, Harry took his first tequila shots. The burning liquor caused him to gasp but after a few moments he liked the taste and the burning feeling so he took more. With a girl, with some guys, with a mixed group. He stopped counting after the seventh glass he drowned and he felt the alcohol rushing through his veins.

But that was clearly not the only thing he felt. There was some heat down in his lower region and he immediately wished he had asked Louis to come with him. He pictured Louis thin pink lips and his graceful hands, his feathery brown hair and he wanted to bury his fingers in it and tug on the roots while Louis would make a wet trail down his chest and stomach, biting and sucking, marking him.

Harry got horny. Like really pissed drunk horny. And he wished Louis was with him. He wanted to kiss him and feel his hands all over his body. He wanted to squeeze Louis’ nice round bum.

So he searched for his mobile somewhere in his baggy pants. He fished it out and managed to type Louis’ number in it.

Louis on the other side was not as pleased as he got woken up by his ringing phone at two in the morning. He reached out for it and pressed it against his ear.

“Hm?” He hummed, half asleep again.

“Louis? Lou I need you.” Harry slurred and Louis was awake immediately. Harry was drunk. Even a blind guy could have seen that. Or heard it.

“Harold? Where are you?” He asked while he started slipping in some sweatpants and a shirt.

“At… a party. You know… I wanted fun…. You know?” Harry babbled and Louis rolled his eyes.

“Yeah Harold I can hear that you are at a party. The music is kinda loud. Now tell me where exactly you are. I’ll come and get you.” Louis was pissed. First Harry ditched his football game for some dumb party, then he got drunk for the first time in his life WITHOUT Louis and then to top all these things he called Louis in the middle of the night.

Somehow Harry slurred the address into the phone and Louis hung up with just a simple ‘I’ll be there in five minutes. Be ready.’ And Harry was a little confused why Louis was so angry with him. So he sat down in the entry still a boner between his legs and he got a little impatient.

He wanted Louis. Now.

When he finally saw the familiar car in the driveway he bounced up and ran towards it.

“Lou! I missed you!” He slurred and crawled onto the passenger seat. Louis just hummed in response.

“Lou I really missed you.” Harry whispered and leaned toward Louis. The older boy glared at him.

“I’ll bring you home. We’ll talk when your mind is clear again.” Damn he was angry.

Tears shot in Harrys green eyes. “No Louis. Please. Can I stay the night at yours? You know my parents. They’ll get furious when they see me like… this.” He pleaded eyes big and a pout on his plump lips.

Louis sighed. He couldn’t resist the younger boy. “Alright. But if you throw up you have to clean it.”

So Louis brought Harry to his home; helped him out of the car (wasn’t as easy as said) and up to his room. Harry leaned into Louis’ touch, burying his face in the crook of Louis’ neck, slightly pressing is lips against the soft flesh of Louis’ neck.

Louis completely ignored it. Harry was drunk he didn’t know what he was doing. He had to repeat this like a mantra. Don’t do anything with him – he’d regret it tomorrow. But there was this small voice back in his mind telling him how soft Harry’s lips would feel and how perfect Harry’s body would fit under him. Fuck. That was clearly not the best idea to take drunken Harry home with him.

“Lay down Harold. I’ll get you some sweatpants and a shirt.” Later Louis would swear he only had turned around for just a second and when he looked back to his friend he was completely naked.

Louis stood there and just looked at his friend. You know how hard it is NOT to look at Harry’s boner?

“Harold? What are you doing?” Louis whispered and got closer. Afterwards he’d list this action as the next not so good idea.

“You know I always sleep naked. It’s kind of liberating, you know.” Harry explained and his hard cock laid heavy and pre-cum leaking against his stomach. Louis gulped. Don’t touch him. Don’t touch him. But young Harry had some other plans. Well the alcohol rushing through his mind had some other plans.

Harry grabbed Louis at the hem of his shirt and pulled him down making him struggle and fall down on top of the younger boy. Harry ran his fingers through Louis hair nearly making him purr in satisfaction.

“You know I really need you now, Lou.” He whispered and before Louis could react or do ANYTHING Harry pulled him closer and crashed their lips together.

It was a sloppy kiss, nothing sweet or innocent like Louis pictured it all the times he thought of how it would feel to kiss Harry. But his lips felt so warm and soft against his own, moving in common completely sync. Just like they meant to be. So Louis kissed back and as a small moan escaped Harrys lips Louis slipped his tongue in his mouth teasing him.

“Lou…” Harry gasped against his lips, his hands gliding down to Louis bum, squeezing it.

“Uh… Harry… Stop it. No. We can’t… Please…” Louis loved it. He fucking loved it to kiss his best friend. He loved feeling his huge hands trailing over his body. But it was wrong. It was so wrong.

Louis didn’t know that Harry had a crush on him. He didn’t know Harry found out that he might be gay or bi at least some time before they met. And Louis didn’t now Harry really wanted to kiss him and it was not just the alcohol speaking out of him.

So Louis tried to be a good friend, pulled back and laid down next to Harry opening his arm to offer him a good-night-cuddle. Harry pouted but snugged closer to Louis; wrapping his arm around Louis’ chest clinging to him like he never wanted let him go. He was too drunk to mind that nothing happened between them.

And so they fell asleep in each other arms, one of them will remember the first kiss they shared with an ashamed feeling down in his stomach and the other one would wake up in the morning with a fucking hangover not knowing what happened the night before just wondering why he woke up cuddled up to his best friend.

So it happened that the alcohol which rushed through Harry’s mind had the plan to turn out Harry’s first kiss as a drunken kiss which he wouldn’t remember at all.

***

Harry chuckled. Louis told him this story month later. And he was still ashamed when he thought back to this night. Full of mistakes. Like nearly everything what came along with Louis. A whole huge mistake. But that didn’t stop Harry to remember the day they shared their real first kiss which both of them remembered.

***

 

It was a few weeks after Harry’s little hangover and his parents were furious (to be honest… they were still slightly fuming) because of Harry’s less care about too much alcohol in his young body. They thought it all happened just because of Louis and they didn’t like Harry having contact with the older boy. So he got house arrest and it was him forbidden to meet Louis. Or to write with him. Or talk. Like they could have done anything against it.

The both boys still had contact. Every modern living human knew you could delete text messages (except Harry’s parents). So Harry deleted every message after he read it.

Weeks passed and another party came around and Louis missed Harry. He missed him so much it hurt him. It was like everything was not so nice and happy and shiny without his curly haired friend. Louis missed to run his fingers through Harry’s hair while they just lay on the bed, Harry’s head on Louis’ chest. He missed Harry’s green shining eyes and his cheery and happy self.

So it happened that Louis couldn’t stand it anymore to be away from Harry. It was a Friday night and he threw little stones against Harry’s window to wake him up. It would have been kind of romantic if Harry would have opened the window and Louis would have recognized it. Well he didn’t and he was annoyed that Harry didn’t hear the stones. So he took a bigger one and threw it up to the window. Let’s skip the part where Harry got hit by the stone right on his forehead and he cursed like an old fisherman.

Louis just rolled his eyes. “Come down princess. Can’t wait the whole night.” He whisper-shouted.

Harry flicked him off and slowly climbed out of the window.

Louis gaze ranked over Harry’s body. Well he knew how his friend looked. But he never got tired to look at him. His long fingers for example. And in Louis mind played scenarios full of dirty things Harry could do with this fingers. He was an eighteen year old boy! What do you expect?

Harry jumped down and ran over to Louis to pull him in a thigh hug and all Louis could do was standing there, trying to breath and blush a little because of the semi-hard on in his pants. He was sure Harry felt it. Because as Harry pulled away there was a deep red blush on his cheeks and Louis just wanted to kiss the living life out of him.

But he couldn’t. Harry didn’t remember a single thing what happened in Louis’ room some time ago. He didn’t remember a single touch, a single word and definitely not the kiss. And Louis was slightly disappointed about it to be honest. He expected more.

Harry cleared his throat. “So let’s party?” He asked and wiggled his eyebrows.

Louis chuckled. “As long as you don’t get pissed again.”

Harry smacked his arm and the boys made their way to one of Louis’ friends, joking around the whole way.

The place was crowded. It was fucking crowded. Too much people standing and pushing around. Where the hack did they all come from? Louis didn’t even know there would be so many students at his school. He was annoyed from being pushed around and being so small he couldn’t overlook the place. He lost Harry some time ago and all he could see were some unfamiliar faces.

He sighed and decided to go upstairs. It was not so crowded there. Just here and there some people making out or throwing up or talking .The usual things. Louis took a look in every room. Well he got yelled at for interrupting some sexual actions here and there. But one room was empty. It was the bedroom of his friend and the window next to the bed was open. Louis rushed over and looked out.

The sky was dark, but completely clear. He saw every single star up there and it was just breathtaking. He climbed out of the window and managed to get up to the roof. He was surprised as he saw he was not the first with the idea to come up here. There was someone already sitting there, head back, eyes fixed up to the sky.

Louis noticed the familiar mob of curly hair and he sighed in relief.

He went over (sounds easy – it wasn’t.) and sat down next to his friend. Harry turned his head and smiled as he saw Louis.

“A nice night sky, isn’t it?” He asked. Louis noticed his voice got raspier and he slowly turned into a man.

He just nodded without looking up. He couldn’t get his eyes away from Harry. He was just too beautiful to look away.

The younger boy smiled again and got closer to his friend, his head on Louis’ shoulder, sighing slightly. His curly hair tickled Louis’ neck and the boy with the blue eyes giggled.

“I’ve missed you, Louis.” Harry whispered.

“Missed you too, Hazza.” Louis heart skipped a beat and a good kind of heat ran down his spine.

“Like really missed you. I missed your warm arms around me and your voice whispering something into my ear and how you smell. I missed your touch and how your skin felt under my fingers. I missed the way you smiled at me and looked at me. I missed your blue eyes and your brown hair. I missed you complaining about your absolute cute little tummy.”

Louis could feel Harry smile against his neck and a blush crept on his cheeks.

“And I missed that too. You, blushing because you totally think the opposite of what I said.” Harry scooted away, just a few inches and Louis hissed at the loss of contact.

He turned around to the younger boy, cupping his face with is small hands and pulling him closer.

Their lips were just millimeters away from each other and Louis looked deeply in Harry’s green eyes. He saw the fear in his eyes and something different but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Without a single word he connected their lips.

It was an innocent kiss. Just lips on lips, slowly moving against each other. Perfectly sync and warm against each other. As they were made to be. Made for each other.

Louis heart beat speed up as Harry kissed back, his hands placed around his neck, pulling him closer. His stomach fluttered and he got Goosebumps all over his body.

It was perfect.

Was.


	15. Chapter 14

Liam shoved his mobile back in his pants and smirked at Zayn.

 

 

"Oh keep that smug look. What did he say?" The tanned boy

asked and leaned closer.

 

 

The boy with the dark brown eyes tapped with his fingers on the table;

creating an annoying noise that drove Zayn crazy.

 

 

"I got the address. We really should worry about how easy you could  
get things out of our Irish friend." He still smiled.

 

 

Zayn shrugged it off. "As long as we could use it to our advantage

it's alright."

 

 

He got off his chair and searched for a waiter to pay for their meal.

Meanwhile Liam did some research in his mobile to find the way to Louis' new

flat. Niall begged for acting like they didn't get the address from him. Liam

still wondered how he could keep this secret.

 

 

It's not like he could knock on his door and say 'Yeah hi Louis. We just

knocked at some doors and heeeeey is this your new flat?'. Louis would think

they are crazy. Well this was kind of crazy.

 

 

When did his life turned into something that could be the perfect stuff

for a cheesy novel?

 

Zayn came back and pulled Liam up from his chair; out of the restaurant

and down the street.

 

 

They talked about some stuff. Just Zayn knew that Harry and Louis have

been a thing some time ago. He knew how both boys met, how they shared their

first kiss and how Harry was scared to hell to tell his parents about it.

 

 

***

 

 

Harry shifted uneasily on his chair,

eying first his mum and then his dad. His parents eyes were fixed on their

plates, eating the food not knowing their son died a thousand deaths right in

front of them.

 

 

"Ehm..." He cleared his

throat and shoved his vegetables around his plate. His mum lifted her gaze and

smiled at him.

 

 

"Everything alright,

darling?" She asked still smiling.

 

 

"Eh. Yeah. Kind of. I...

uhm..." He stuttered and a dark red shade crept onto his cheeks.

 

He got annoyed with his self. Why

couldn't he just tell his parents? It's a normal thing not to like girls, isn't

it? A lot of guys don't like girls that way.

 

 

"Just spill the beans,

son." His father said and cracked a little encouraging smile.

 

 

"I think... I think I'm

gay." He mumbled. Well he knew it before he met Louis. He just didn't like

girls. And he always thought that boys were hot and stuff like that. But now he

had Louis and he didn't tell his parents that he was kinda with him but he

wanted them to know he's never going to bring a girl home.

 

 

His mum clapped his hands together

and laughed. "Finally."

 

 

Harry choked and his dad patted his

back. "W-what?" The boy asked, his green eyes wide.

 

 

"Oh c'mon Harry. It's not like

I didn't notice it. How dumb do you think I am?" She grinned at him and

poked his cheek.

 

 

"I'm your mother. I could feel

it if something's up with you. I'm glad you finally decided to tell us."

 

 

Harry felt like there was a really

heavy weight lifted up from his shoulders and he smiled.

 

 

His dad cleared his throat and

placed his huge hands on Harry's shoulders.

 

 

"There's nothing wrong with

this. You are my son and you'll ever stay like this. No matter if you like a

boy or a girl." He smiled and you could tell Harry was the happiest boy on

earth this moment.

 

 

Well who wouldn't be? Being accepted

by both of his parents was kind of relieving. But not knowing that one part of

his parents was just acting like that and didn't accept him at all was

something that might turn out as a very very bad thing.

 

 

***

 

 

Zayn shook his head to get rid of Harry's memories he told him some time

ago. He felt like he was haunted by them. Sometimes it felt like a curse to be

the one Harry told everything. But he was still kind of flattered that the boy

told him about his past. It showed him that Harry trusted him. No matter what.

 

 

Zayn turned his head and looked at Liam. The other boy had no clue what

was going on in his head, what kind of memories were floating through his mind.

He didn't know what Zayn know. But he felt that something bothered the raven

haired boy and so Liam wrapped an arm around Zayn's waist and pulled him

closer, rubbing little circles under the other boys shirt on his hip to sooth

him.

 

 

***

 

 

Harry lied next to Louis on his bed

only their hands were touching. He could hear the other boy breathing next to

him and his heart fluttered. He turned to his side so he was facing the older

boy.

 

 

Harry was seventeen now and with

Louis for more than six month now and he still couldn't believe it. You

couldn't describe how happy he was. But the reason he still hadn't told his

parents that he had a boyfriend bothered him. They might have had accepted that

he was gay but to accept that he has a boyfriend was a completely different

thing.

 

 

"What's up, love?" He

heard Louis high-pitched voice. Harry's voice got deeper and huskily while

Louis' voice stayed as high-pitched and kind of feminine like always. Harry was

also taller than Louis now. Not that much but still noticeable. Louis had a

tiny and thin body with a huge bum (Harry really appreciated that) while Harry

was really tall with long legs and huge hands (Louis really appreciated that)

and both boys were fine with that.

 

 

Everybody who looked at them would

think Harry tops Louis. Because he was taller and the other stuff. But to be

honest they hadn't done anything like that yet. Just sharing heated kisses and

kind of grinding at each other. But for both it was clear that Louis was

dominating. He was the older one and he kept it clear that he was the one

telling what to do.

 

 

"My parents still don't know

about... us." Harry whispered and buried his face in the crook of Louis'

neck. He heard the other boy chuckling and he rubbed circles on Harry's back

trying to sooth him a little bit.

 

 

"It's okay babe. Tell them when

you are ready. I could wait. I'm fine with that." Louis said and pressed a

light kiss on Harry's curly hair. Harry knew Louis would say that. But he also

knew he wanted to show everyone that Harry was his. Only his. He wanted to

sleep at Harry's place and cuddle and kiss in front of his parents. Harry knew

it but he was scared as shit.

 

 

"I'll tell them today." He

whispered. He had to do it. It isn't like he could wait forever.

 

"You come with me, right?"

 

 

Louis nodded. "I'll be right next

to you."

 

 

And Harry smiled.

 

 

He smiled not knowing that this was

the worst decision he ever made.

 

 

***

 

 

Zayn flinched a little bit and Liam pressed a light kiss on his nose.

The other boy sighed, stopped walking and pulled Liam closer, connecting their

lips in a deep kiss. Moving in sync soft lips against his, so careful and soft.

Zayn wanted to scream. All he knew till he kissed Liam for the first time were

Harry's rough demanding lips. This was the first time he experienced something

soft and lovely like this. Liam wanted him to be happy. And he was happy. He

felt like his heart was going to burst if Liam kept on kissing him like he was

made of glass. Made of something that might brake if he was to rough.

 

 

Zayn bit lightly in Liam's lip earning a quiet moan from the other boy.

He loved the reaction he got from Liam. He was so eager for everything Zayn

gave him. And Zayn knew what he had to do to get Liam hard as a rock within

seconds. Just a little bite here and a hard breath there and he felt the other

boy pressing his hard on against his leg.

 

 

"So needy again." Zayn whispered huskily and tapped a finger

against Liam's nose.

 

 

The other boy hummed in response and just forced a little smile.

 

 

"You exactly know what will happen when you bite my lip." Liam

ran his fingers through Zayn's dark hair and tugged slightly. He was the only

human being Zayn allowed to touch his hair. Not that Liam would know that.

 

 

Now it was Zayn moaning against Liam's smiling lips.

 

 

"If we keep on doing this we won't make it to Louis' flat."

Zayn nodded and pulled away. Both boys tried to catch their breath. The raven

haired boy went back to the memories Harry told him about to cool down a little

bit.

 

 

***

 

 

Harry opened the door.

 

 

"Mum? Dad? Are you at

home?" He yelled and waited for a response.

 

 

"Living room honey!" His

mum answered and Harry walked over; pulling Louis with him.

 

 

His parents sat on the couch

watching some TV and eyed Harry curiously as he shifted on his feet.

 

 

"Hey Louis. How are you?"

His mum greeted Louis and smiled widely at him.

 

 

Louis mirrored the smile. "Fine

thank you."

 

 

"What's up, son?" Des

asked, eyes still fixed on the TV.

 

 

"Uhm I wanted to introduce you

to someone." Harry started and Louis reached for his hand; squeezing it.

 

 

"We already know Louis, Harold.

He's your best friend for it feels like ages." Des lifted an eyebrow at

them.

 

 

Louis and Harry looked at each other

and Louis flashed him a big encouraging smile.

 

 

"Yeah. My best friend. But also

my... uhm... boyfriend." He whispered and suddenly found his shoes more

interesting than looking his parents in the eyes.

 

 

He could hear his mum gasp and his

dad went all silent not saying a single word. After a few minutes in this

really really awkward silent Harry decided to say something.

 

 

"Could you please say

anything?" He pleaded silently and held stronger on Louis hand. Like it

was his only way to survive this.

 

 

His mum smiled at him and he could

tell she was happy as long he was happy.

 

Des stood up from the couch and came

over. He stopped just a few inches away from Louis and eyed him with a strictly

gaze.

 

 

"So you are the one my son

decided to give his heart to." He asked. Louis gulped and just nodded. To

be honest Des was really intimidating.

 

 

"Okay. As long as you make my

son happy I'm okay with that. But break his heart and I'll promise you I'll

break every single bone in your body." He said that with such a stern voice

even Harry got scared.

 

 

Louis nodded again. "I promise.

I'd never break his heart."

 

 

Des patted his shoulder and Louis

flinched away. He was scared of Des.

 

 

And how it would turn out he had

every right to be scared as shit of Des.

 

 

***

 

 

Liam pulled him into another street and they stood in front of a huge

house. There was a lot of flats in it and the both boys just stood there and

thought of what they should say. They can't just walk in and force Louis to

spill the beans.

 

 

"We can't stand the whole night here..." Liam started and Zayn

just pressed the bell.

 

 

It took some time until they could hear some cracking noise.

 

 

"Yeah?" That wasn't Louis voice. That couldn't be Louis voice.

Louis voice had to be cheery and happy and sassy but not like that. Not so

broken and destroyed.

 

 

"Delivery service!" Liam yelled and tried to change his voice

a little it so Louis wouldn't recognize him.

 

 

Zayn shot him a confused look but Liam just shrugged it off as the door

opened.

 

 

The boys jumped up the stairs and knocked at the door they knew it was

Louis'.

 

 

***

 

 

"Are you scared?" Louis

whispered and kissed all over Harry's face. The smaller boy ran his fingers

through his curls and pulled slightly at the roots. A small moan escaped the

younger boys lips and his back arched up from the mattress.

 

 

"Yeah a little bit."

 

 

"Don't be. I take care of you.

I make you feel good, yeah? Trust me babe." Louis whispered against

Harry's neck and pressed his lips against the soft skin. He sucked gently and

bite down a little bit.

 

 

Harry's finger slide over Louis

curvy body, cupping Louis' bum squeezing it a little bit. Louis growled in

response and ran his fingers along the waistband of Harry's boxers.

 

 

"Too much clothes, babe. Strip

them off." Louis said and pulled away.

 

 

Harry breathed heavily and pulled

his pants down. Now he was completely naked and Louis' gaze ranked over his

body and he licked his lips.

 

 

"Looking so nice like this. So

hot my baby." He came closer pressing kissed down his chest and stomach to

Harry's arching member.

 

 

His hard cock laid throbbing and

pre-cum leaking against his stomach, his head back, mouth hung open and eyes

closed.

 

 

Louis chuckled slightly and took

Harry in his mouth.

 

The younger boy gasped because of

Louis wet heat and he felt like he could come any moment.

 

 

"I have to prep you, babe.

Okay? Just relax." Harry hummed in response and spread his long legs a

little wider.

 

 

Louis lubed his fingers up and

circled them around Harry's ring of muscles.

 

He slipped is middle finger in and

rubbed soothing circles on Harry's stomach.

 

 

"More." Harry whispered

with a shaking voice.

 

 

Louis nodded and slipped a second

finger in. He waited till Harry got used to his fingers. When the younger boy

nodded he started moving his fingers gently.

 

 

Harry moaned through gritted teeth

and Louis smiled sheepishly against Harry's thighs.

 

 

"S okay. Want you. Now."

Harry whispered after a few minutes and hissed at the sudden loss of Louis'

fingers as he pulled them out and hovered himself over the younger boy.

 

 

"Sure babe?" Louis wanted

to be completely sure about it. He didn't want to force Harry into something he

would regret later.

 

 

"Louis... Now." Harry hissed

again and pulled Louis down for a heated kiss.

 

 

Louis slowly entered Harry and the

younger boy flinched. It hurt - yes. But he got used to it and Louis moved

really slowly stopping from time to time till Harry nodded to show him to keep

on going.

 

 

He bottomed out and Harrys back

arched up from the bed. "Lou..." he moaned.

 

 

"Shhh babe. I'm here. Everything

alright." Louis soothed him not moving at all, just running his fingers

through Harry's curls.

 

 

"Move." Harry commanded

and Louis did as told.

 

 

***

 

 

"Louis you look like shit."

 

 

"Well thanks Liam. Nice to see you, too." Louis answered

sassy.

 

 

To be honest his sassiness was the only thing the boy in front of them

had in common with the Louis they knew. This Louis had a bruised cheek and

messy hair. He wore a large jumper and sweatpants, his tiny body was completely

hidden behind his clothes.

 

 

He had bags under his blue eyes and it seemed like he didn't sleep. His

cheekbones were more prominent than ever and Zayn was sure that the boy skipped

some meals.

 

 

"Louis, we..." He started but the older boy interrupted them.

 

 

"Niall told you, didn't he? This little Irish bastard..." He

cursed and disappeared into the flat.

 

 

Zayn looked at Liam, shrugged and followed him. Liam directly behind

him.

 

 

Both boys knew Louis was not the tidiest person on earth but the flat

was a complete mess. Boxes stood everywhere, blankets, clothes and shoes were

scattered on the floor.

 

 

They entered a room what it seemed to be the living room. Zayn pushed

some books and clothes from the couch and sat down, pulling Liam in his lap.

 

 

Louis sat at the other end and eyed them curiously.

 

 

"So what do you want? Obliviously you are not the delivery

service." He asked.

 

 

"We want to talk about Harry." Liam said and cracked a small

smile.

 

 

Louis rolled his eyes, stood up and wanted to go away but Liam grabbed

his wrist and pulled him back.

 

 

The older boy hissed and pulled his wrist out of Liam's grasp.

 

 

"Wait..." Liam jumped up and grabbed Louis hand again, pulling

the sleeve of his jumper up.

 

The raven haired boy drew a sharp breath. Louis forearm was covered with

dark bruises and with some already fading one. He lowered his gaze down to the

floor as Liam pulled the other sleeve up exposing more and more bruises.

 

 

"Louis... take off the sweater." Zayn said and walked over to

him.

 

 

Louis hesitantly slipped out of the large jumper.

 

 

Zayn and Liam stumbled both back as they saw the exposed skin.

 

 

***

 

 

Harry's finger gently slide over the

bruise on Louis arm and chest.

 

 

"What happened?" He asked

quietly.

 

 

Louis huffed and turned away from

Harry. Showing the other boy his bare back.

 

 

But his shoulders and lower back

were covered in dark bruises too. Harry gulped. Something happened to Louis. He

was hurt and Harry didn't know why or who did this to him.

 

 

"Did someone beat you up?"

He tried to get the truth out of his boyfriend.

 

 

The older boy just shook his head.

 

 

Harry wrapped his arms carefully

around him and pulled him against his chest. He felt Louis crying and he knew

he couldn't do anything against it. He recognized that Louis arms and back were

bruised from time to time.

 

 

It started a few month ago. First

the other boy acted like he was all clumsy and fell down stairs or ran against

something. Then he giggled and gave Harry a deep kiss to distract him. But the

bruised didn't disappear. They were present all the time. They turned from a

dark purple to a light yellow and when they were about to fade new one

appeared.

 

 

"I'm worried about you."

Harry mumbled against Louis neck. The other boy finally turned around and

cupped his face with his tiny hands.

 

 

"Don't be. I'm alright."

He kissed Harry on his nose. "I love you, babe, you know that,

right?"

 

 

Harry nodded. Louis sounded so...

broken. He was so curious what happened to him. It had to be something major

because Louis would never act like that if it was just something simple.

 

 

"Yeah. I love you too."

Harry answered and Louis kissed him on the lips, moving in sync.


	16. Chapter 15

Zayn had the bad feeling that the Louis from Harry's past was standing in front of him. Not the adult Louis with his sassy answers and knowledge how to defend himself. But the young Louis who was scared and tried to hide his bruises from Harry.

"Louis, what did he do to you?" Zayn asked quietly.

Louis' eyes widened and he flinched away from Zayn's grip. "Nothing. Des has nothing to do with this." He stuttered and pulled the sweater back on. Zayn faked a small smile and cocked his eyebrows. "Oh really? I guess Des is Harry's dad. So why did you know I was talking about him even without mentioning his name?" He asked and Louis took a few steps back.  
"I... I didn't know. He... no. Leave!" First he stuttered then shouted at them pushing them away.

Zayn stumbled but Liam stood right behind him, fixing him. "We are not going to leave." Liam said with a soft tone in his voice. Louis shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. "No. You have to leave. Please! Go!" He begged, tried pushing them away again and broke down in front on them. "Louis... shhhh... nothing's going to happen. Everything's alright. We are here, you know?" Zayn got down on his knees and pulled Louis into a hug, wrapping his arms around the shaking boy.

"What did he do?" Zayn asked again but Louis just shook his head, rocking forward and back again.  
"Can't tell. He'll do it again if I tell... Can't... no..." Louis whispered, his dull blue eyes still wide in fear.

"God..." Liam mumbled and rubbed with his hands over his face. This is going to be more difficult as he thought. He thought Louis would tell them what happened. He thought they'll take Louis with them to Harry and they'll live their happy ever after. He thought Louis was alright and just avoiding Harry. But the truth was nothing he expected. Louis wasn't going to tell them anything. Nor would he ever follow them to Zayn and Harry's flat. Neither was he alright.

Zayn looked up to him with a worried expression on his beautiful face and both boys didn't know what to do. Helpless. "Lou, did he do the same things he did two years ago?" Zayn asked quietly and Louis stiffed in his hug. "How did you know?" Louis sniffed and turned a little bit to face the other boy. Zayn shot him a bright smile. "Harry told me." Louis' eyes got wider (if this was even possible). "He told you? He wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Why did he do that?" Louis voice was so small and quiet and broken Liam could barely stand it.

But then Liam realized what the boys were talking about. "Wait. What? Harry told you what? What was last time? Hey!" He crossed his arms over his chest and shot Zayn a glare. "M sorry babe. But I promised Harry not to tell anyone." The raven haired boy smiled excusing. "Yeah. As always. Don't tell anyone. Keep the secret. I always was his little secret. Dirty little secret." Louis whispered and started rocking back and forth again. "No, Louis. How could you think you are a dirty little secret?" A deep frown appeared on Liam's face and he sat down legs crisscrossed next to the other boys.

"How I could think that? Because he called me like that! Always told me I'm his secret and no one is supposed to know about that." Louis yelled and shoved Zayn away.  
"Maybe he did this time. But last time it was different, right? Louis how was it the first time?" Zayn whispered and rubbed circles on Louis' back. Louis' eyes were fixed on nothing and a soft smile appeared on his face. "Different. He was so young and innocent. He was just mine, you know? We ran into each other at school back then. And I never left his side. I always was there. He shared his first kiss with me. His first kiss! He was sixteen and he gave me his first kiss. His first sexual experience was with me. I couldn't ask for a better present. He just gave it to me because he loved me. He trusted me." 

Liam couldn't do anything but smile. Louis talked about Harry as he was the most perfect person on earth. But Liam could tell Harry was far away from perfect. But for Louis he didn't want him in another way. "And he told his parents and everything seemed alright. We moved in together when he turned eighteen. You know how happy I was? The most perfect boy in this universe loved me. Me! And he didn't want to be with someone else than me. It was unbelievable." Louis smiled and shook his head.

"And then it all got worse. He... he didn't like that his son was gay. He'd never tell Harry. He thought it was just a phase and I was the reason for it. He wanted me out of his life. He reminded me of my past. Of what could happen. He reminded me with every hit. Every bruise reminded me. And then... I left." Tears started again streaming down his cheeks and Louis closed his eyes, his voice cracking.

"You broke him." Zayn said and Liam slapped the back of his head as Louis sobbed and buried his face in his hands; his tiny body shaking. "Ah, Liam! Louis, listen. I could tell Harry was anything then sweet and innocent when I met him. He was rough and strong and everything what you think about when you think about a bad boy."

"S-stop telling me that. I know what I did. Don't remind me." Louis pleaded, his eyes red and swollen.

Zayn shook his head. "No you need to know that. I'm his flat mate. I recognized when he changed. He's acting like someone died. He's depressive and its killing me to see him like that. He was happy. Like really happy at some point. I guess that was the time he was with you again." "No. We never were back together. He used me. He used me for his own satisfaction and he broke me. Like I broke him. You know he told me every time he fucked me that he loved me?" Zayn and Liam flinched at his words.  
"And he only said that because I begged him to tell me a lie. Every time he said 'I love you' he lied straight in my face. I always imagined he meant it. And then one morning Des stood there in the kitchen and he knew it." Louis hiccupped and stopped talking.  
"And then you left again." Liam fulfilled his little speech.

Louis nodded.

"Some time you don't have another chance than leaving. Some times its for the best to turn around and never come back again." Louis whispered and cracked a broken smile.  
Zayn shook his head in disbelieve. How could this boy still think that it was for its best to leave? Couldn't he see how fucked up all this was?

"Lou can't you see there is no 'good' in goodbye. And there is definitely no 'fair' in farewell. Wake up." Zayn gave up trying to convince Louis. He was captured in his thoughts that what he did was the best for everyone. Now it was on him to wake up. To see what could have been.

Zayn stood up, padded one last time Louis back, whispered a 'we'll be back to check on you soon.' and he left with a quiet Liam.  
Louis sat just there rocking forth and back, tears streaming down his face and his broken heart shattered in front of him.


	17. Chapter 16

It's been three weeks since Zayn and Liam found him. Three weeks and they checked up on him every second day. Standing at his door with a box full of pizza or Chinese food or something different to eat. 

 

They told him everything that happened and every now and then Louis might ask how Harry has been. And then Zayn would frown and look down on his food whispering that Harry looks like he was just alive because he knew Louis was still alive and out there. 

 

And then Louis would gulp and couldn't feel something else then guilty. Because back in his mind he knew he already thought of it. Of leaving finally. Without a chance of coming back. He also knew that it was a sick thought of him and a really selfish one. Instead of facing his fears and being the strong and brave guy he wanted to be for Harry he was just weak.

 

But Louis had to admit since Zayn and Liam kept on checking on him he got better. He gained some weigh, his bruised faded and all you could see now are some light yellow and green shades on his back. He even got a proper haircut (Liam forced him) and he shaved (Zayn told him when he wouldn't he might look like a hobo in time and Louis really didn't want to look like a homeless guy). The two boys told him that if Harry wouldn't get his hair cut in time they could make him cute ponytails and buns and stuff (Louis laughed when they told him but all he dreamed of the following night was Harry sitting next to him with a little bun and just smiling at him). He laughed again. Not all happy (you could tell that because the crinkles under his eyes didn't appear when he laughed) but it was a beginning. 

 

Louis cleaned his flat (well... for him it was clean, Zayn still refuses to cook in his kitchen and Liam still refuses to use his toilet - Louis didn't give a single fuck about that) and he bought some new clothes (he ordered them online. He still didn't want to leave his flat. It wasn't the right time yet). Niall visited him often with a huge back from Nandos and enough DVDs for two weeks. And then they sat on the couch, wrapped in colorful blankets (Niall brought them) and ate the Nandos and had a movie marathon (Louis nearly slapped Niall for bringing a cheesy love story).

 

But all in all you could tell he got better. He healed inside and outside. He was on the best way to be Louis again. Well, kind of.

He always believed in the six degrees of separation. And he couldn't do anything against it but as he walked around town (finally out of his flat after weeks) in nothing than his jeans jacket and some wrecked chucks he started to analyze his six degrees of separation.

 

First he thought the worst was a broken heart. Shattered on the floor; smashed on the pavement; a thousand pieces which couldn't be put back together again.

 

That happened at the moment he met Harry again at Niall's party. To be completely honest, his heart was cracked before. But seeing the curly haired lad again made it explode into a million tiny pieces. Impossible to put them back together no matter how hard Louis tried. It hurt so fucking much, Louis couldn't think of a pain which could compare to the hurt of a broken heart. Days passed Louis punching the walls in his flat, throwing pillows, plates and his favorite mug on the ground, screaming and trying to get rid of the pain in his chest. He felt like Harry ripped out his heart and left him bleeding and hurt. Niall came by often this time. He was anxious Louis would do something but he refused to mention Louis bruised face (Louis begged for this about two hours). Every time he found the lad with the feathery hair running in circles, crying in pain and wishing he could feel something different then his broken heart. But that was just the beginning.

 

In the second part it killed him. The pieces of his broken heart cut deep in his flesh leaving marks only he was able to see. 

 

Three weeks passed after the party at Niall's and Louis was not the same person anymore. You could barely recognize him. His hair got longer, he refused to shave, and he couldn't eat not to mention the lack of sleep which drew dark circles under his eyes. His broken heart was killing him. The simple thought of Harry made him flinch back in a dark corner of his flat, rocking back and forth wishing it all would end. He just wanted the pain to end. 

 

Niall kept on checking up on him. But he couldn't do anything. Once he tried to cheer Louis up with a movie he nearly got punched and ended up patting Louis back while the boy cried his eyes out. It all went down more when Niall wanted to get a towel from the bathroom to clean some spilled water up. He came back slightly smirking with a little box full with pills in his hand. 

 

"Wow Lou. I knew you couldn't sleep but that amount of pills could kill a cow." He smirked even wider before you could literally hear the 'click'-sound his brain made when he realized what he said and his bright smile faded away. 

 

The sleeping pills weren't there to kill a cow. They were there because Louis wanted to sleep. Drift to sleep and never wake up again. To stop the killing pain in his chest. Niall just flushed the pills down the toilet, sat next to Louis and hugged him till the welcoming sleep rolled over the older lad and took him away from reality. Away from the pain. Away from Harry.

 

And the third was when his world splits down in the middle. Realizing it would never be the same again. He was all alone. No one he could lean on.

 

Just two weeks after Niall discovered the pills, Louis was snugged in his blanket, sitting in the corner of his couch for the third day in a row without moving when he realized nothing would be like it used to be. He would never be able to turn back time and get the things right. He looked around his flat, knowing that this was all he had left. He stumbled up, went to his bedroom pulling out a large box from under the bad. The boy sat down, pulling the box in his lap and opened it carefully. He knew what was in the box. But still he was anxious that anything could have gone. That he just dreamed all the good times. And all the nice heartwarming memories were gone. He dropped the top on the ground and took out some pictures. Old photographs of him and Harry hugging, standing in someone's backyard, dressed up on Halloween, sleeping on top of each other, Harry's first driving lesson. His mouth was wide open, he was screaming because he couldn't find the break, Harry's mum next to him, her face buried in her hands and Louis sat behind Harry just grinning into the camera showing both thumbs up. 

 

Louis sighed and pushed the box back under his bad. Just memories. Past. Their time has passed long ago. And the boy knew he couldn't go back. His world, how it supposed to be, was split in the middle. No chance with fixing. Just the chance to get used to it and live with it.

 

That was about the time Liam and Zayn got the information out of Niall where he lived. And Louis was so freaking glad Niall kept the secret about the cow-killing-sleeping-pills.

 

 

And fourth, when he started thinking he fixed himself again. 

That was now. When he walked around town. The first time in weeks he was out of his flat. Enjoying the warm sun in the cold winter air. He felt free. But he knew that there would be two more steps to take. And he also knew that he would recognize them after they happened. But for now he was just happy. His head clear of any thoughts. 

 

He crossed the street, his hands buried deep in his jacked, and his cheeks flushed red because of the cold air, his blue eyes shining like the ice on the streets. He wanted to get some tea from his most favorite Tea-shop here in town. Just a little one. All homey and personal. And he thought that there his tea was the best. He checked the cookies and cupcakes through the window of the shop and when he lifted his gaze his smile fell. 

 

Fifth, when you see him out with someone else.

 

There he was. Harry sat there on a small table with a guy with light blonde hair, a cup of steaming tea in his hands. He just could see the back of the other guy but he could see Harry smiling. Bright and all dimple showing. His green eyes shining, his hair in a little bun (he didn't get the cut that Zayn and Liam wanted him to get) and he wore a big jumper, black jeans and his worn out brown boots and his lips in this pretty pink kissable shade. 

 

And the sixth was when Louis admitted that he may have fucked up a little.


	18. Chapter 17

It was the beginning of December when the first snowflakes decided to cover London in white. It looked like icing sugar and a slight Christmas feeling came up. Zayn decided for the good looking of his hair to stay inside of his flat, watch some movies and eat pizza. Liam promised to come over later the day and Niall wanted to show up too.

Zayn was cuddled up in three blankets when the door burst open and a red flushed Harry stumbled in, laughing loudly. It was a heartwarming noise and the raven haired boy was glad to hear his mate laugh again. What was not so nice to hear was the other laugh echoing through the flat. There was this boy Harry used to hang out with the past weeks.

The boy was friendly. A little too friendly for Zayn's liking. Being this friendly Zayn just wasn't able to hate him for stealing Harry. But to be honest, Zayn saw what this boy had in common with Louis. Dark blonde hair or more light caramel and bright blue eyes shining and a flashing smile plastered on his beautiful face (yeah – Zayn had to admit Harry had not a bad taste in choosing his boys). The boy's lips were more like Harrys. Full and pink and just perfect blow-job lips (Zayn just knows this. Don't question why.) He was nearly as tall as Harry and walked with graceful movements. Zayn remembered the boy's name was Edward. That was all he knew about this boy (maybe Harry has told him more but Zayn was too busy answering Liam's message, telling him how much he wanted him right now).

"Z! You have to go out to sometimes! The snow is great!" Harry cheered as he entered the living room shaking his damped curls. His cheeks were flushed red and his button nose was slightly red too. Edward entered the room right after Harry. His hair was dark and wet from the snow and Zayn was sure, that the lads just had a serious snow ball fight.

"There is no way you'll ever get me out. My hair would look terrible within seconds." Zayn exclaimed and Harry snorted, throwing his jacket in a corner and turning around to Edward. The other boy staid quiet but had a smile on his lips. Zayn eyed him suspectiously. He still didn't know if the boy was just a friend or more. Hopefully just a friend. Otherwise Zayn had to rip of his balls. He didn't want to see Harry with someone different than Louis.

He took a quick look at his phone. "Liam's coming over in a few. Niall should be there by time too. You up to a movie night?" He asked.

Harry flashed him a bright dimple showing smile and nodded. "Sure. Ordering some food or does Niall bring some Nandos over?"

"Oh Nandos sounds great!" Edward's soothing voice came from the outside where he pulled of his shoes and jacket.

Zayn rolled his eyes. "He stays?" He mouthed to Harry.

The younger boy shot him a glare and nodded. Zayn sighed dramatically and threw an arm over his eyes acting like a proper diva. "Shut up, Z. Get over it." Harry sat down next to him, stealing one of the blankets.

Edward walked over shuffling between Harry and the armrest, laying his head on Harry's shoulder. Zayn growled quietly and Harry kicked him with his elbow in the ribs.

"Ah! How long are you going to stay, Ed?" The older lad asked, using Harry's nickname for the other boy in purpose.

The blonde haired boy shrugged. "As long as Harry could stand my awesome self." He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh. So you are leaving any seconds? Too bad. Movie night would have been great fun." Zayn grinned mischievously.

"Zayn..." Harry growled under his breath and the other boy just shrugged and typed a quick message to Liam and Niall to hurry the fuck up. He couldn't stand this Edward guy any longer.

Just some minutes later (for Zayn it felt like hours, days, months, years!) the bell rang and the raven haired boy got up with a sigh of relief. Sitting next to these two boys sharing their inside jokes and stuff – it was just annoying. At least they weren't doing any lovey dovey shit.

"You seem slightly relieved, mate." Niall grinned as he made his way to the living room, carrying two big bags from Nandos.

Zayn rolled his brown eyes and Liam patted his back. "I'll distract you a little." He winked and waved with a little package. Zayn immediately knew what Liam was up for.

"Holy moly. Thanks." He huffed, grabbed the package and went to the other boys sitting down on the couch.

Edwards blue eyes light up as he saw the two Nandos buckets. "I fucking love Nandos." He smiled and clapped his hands together.

Niall looked over and frowned a little; not sure if he should be happy that Edward loved Nandos as much as he did or if he should look out for that boy stealing his food. He settled with the first one and pushed some chicken over to the blonde guy.

The boys were eating and talking from time to time, some random TV show running in the background. Niall liked Edward right away. Liam was not sure if he should be on Zayn's side or not. He decided to be neutral area. Harry had his knees to his chest and watched his friends interacting with each other and to be honest he felt happy – really truly happy – for the first time in ages.

Half an hour later Zayn took out the package Liam brought and rolled the first joint. Edward's eyes widened slightly as he recognized what they were about to do.

His gaze flipped between Harry and Zayn who light the joint; breathing in the smoke. "You still do this? I thought you stopped a while ago." He asked the boy with the curly hair.

"Eh. Just from time to time. It's kinda relaxing ya know?" Harry shrugged, taking the joint from Zayn.

Zayn nudged Ed in his ribs. "Wanna try it?" He asked and held the joint out for the other boy to take it. Ed shook his head. "Sorry. Never did this."

Niall giggled. He shared his own joint with Liam. He could drink a lot of alcohol but as soon as it got to joints it kicked in pretty fast. "Such a good boy. Always doing what mummy told ya." He leaned forward and pinched Edward's cheek.

"Man up, mate." Zayn growled and waved slightly with the joint. The other boy took it with a suspicious frown on his face and took a quick drag. He coughed and passed the joint to Harry who patted his back to help him relax again.

Time passed quickly and the boys (except Edward) shared more than one joint. All were giggling, smiling or just sitting there.

Niall eyed Edward up and he definitely checked him out. "Damn boy. You are fit." He cursed under his breath and shoved another chicken wing in his mouth.

"So Ed, are you up to girls or are you more from... eh the other side of the river?" Niall wiggled his eyebrows and kept on munching on his chicken.

Edward laughed and held up one finger. "Straight as a ruler." He grinned.

The Irish boy frowned. "You should explain a little better. More like these flexible rulers or the wooden ones?"

Edward laughed again and slapped Niall lightly. "I'd go for the wooden one."

Niall winked playfully. "Sure you do."

Zayn groaned and hit his head against the next hard thing he could reach. It turned out he hit his head against the wall. He groaned again but now because his head hurt like hell.

"Your own fault, love." Liam grinned and passed the joint to Zayn who took a deep drag.

"I really need something stronger or a full bottle of alcohol to survive this." Zayn mumbled before he stood up and searched through their stock of alcohol. He took a bottle with vodka and sat down again next to Liam.

"You know the alcohol and the joint will kick in heavy?" Liam cocked an eyebrow.

"And you know you are going to have an active night when I mix these things." Zayn smirked, taking another gulp out of the bottle.

Niall was higher than a skyscraper and babbled a lot of stuff no one really understood. Harry was also high, his pupils blown wide and he just leaned back on the couch tapping his fingertips up Edward's thigh and back down to the knee.

Edward was now the one taking a deep drag from the joint; coughing afterwards smoke coming out of his mouth. Niall rolled his eyes.

"You have to learn how to make a proper drag, my friend. And I bet you can't snog a guy properly." Niall wiggled his index finger in Edward's direction.

Harry sighed annoyed. "Will you ever let this down?" He asked and the other lad grinned wide and just shook his head.

"Watch me." Edward took another quick drag; lunching Niall forward in his direction by grabbing him by his collar and pressing his lips against Niall's, exhaling the smoke in his mouth.

The Irish lad wrapped his arms around Ed's neck, pulling him closer, burying his fingers in the soft blonde locks of the other boy. He tugged slightly at the roots causing the blue eyed boy to moan softly. Niall licked over Ed's lip, asking for entrance and when Ed opened his mouth a little he slipped his tongue in teasing the other boy. Ed hovered over Niall; his body between his legs, crotch against crotch when he started grinding on him. Niall's head fell back and a loud moan escaped his lips and just seconds later Ed closed his lips again with his own.

Liam leaned closer to Zayn; placing his chin on the other boy's shoulder. "Don't blame me, but that turns me on." He whispered and bite down slightly on Zayn's neck, his sensitive spot, directly under his ear.

The raven haired boy turned around to him. "I don't blame you." And then he straddled Liam; pressing his lips against his and snogging the hell out of the other boy.

Harry frowned. "How the fuck turned a movie night into soft porn?"

He reached for his phone, funny colors everywhere, and opened his photos. When he could not join his friends (he was not sure if he really wanted to join) then he could make a bunch of pictures to embarrass them later in the future. He clicked through the pictures he made and snickered. If anyone sees these pictures they might think he has a kink for porn photos. To be honest he'd rather be one of them; snogging the hell out of each other; grinding on the other guy and sucking deep purple hickeys on the soft skin.

A little growl escaped Harry's lips and his hips buckled up a little bit just with the thought of doing all this things.

His pants got unbearable tight and he shifted around to get comfortable again. His eyes were fixed on Ed's arse where Niall's hands grabbed and squeezed tightly earning more moans and growls from the boy.

"Shit..." Harry cursed and started palming himself through his pants watching his friends making out in front of him.


	19. Chapter 18

Harry groaned as something poked his chest and he tried to swat it away. Again a poke. He turned around so he was on his belly, burying his face in a pillow. "Get up; Styles." He heard an all too familiar voice and his head shot up.

Louis stood in front of him, a big smirk on his face. His chestnut hair was hidden under a beanie and just the fringe was hanging in his face. His blue eyes were shining and Harry had to use all his will to look at something different.

He hadn't seen Louis in so long. Since Halloween to be honest. It's been a long time. And he didn't mind untill now. He didn't know how much he had missed Louis. Still did. But he'd never admit that. Never.

"Fuck off, Tomlinson." He groaned again and tried to hide his blushing cheeks in the pillow.

"No way. Get up you lazy ass." Louis took his wrist and pulled him up, dragging him into the kitchen.

Harry scrunched his nose. "Did you try to make something like breakfast?" He asked and eyed something that looked like burned eggs or pancakes. He was not sure about it.

Louis shrugged. "Tried. Stopped trying when it came close to burning the house down."

The curly haired boy shook his head, cleaned the pan and started mixing some indigents to make proper pancakes. The other boy lifted himself up on the counter and was happy with watching the younger one cook.

"So what happened last night here? I just got a call from Niall and all I could hear were some strange noises and moaning. I thought I should come around to see if he's alright. And what did I find? Something close to a proper gangbang. What the hell were you doing?" Louis laughed and Harry tried to remember what happened last night.

It started with a simple movie... "Eh I didn't do anything! Niall was his shitty little self and convinced Ed to explore the other side of the river. Well and Zayn and Liam had just some couple time in the middle of the living room. You can't judge them. They are still on cloud seven." Harry shrugged and flipped the pancakes.

"Yeah you were asleep. What's up with this boy Niall was rolling around with?" Louis still smiled but you could hear that he was really curious about this boy.

The curly haired boy put the pancakes on two plates and handed Louis one together with some marble syrup. "You mean Ed? He was my partner in crime when I was young. I mean, before I moved." He smiled when he thought back to all these little dumb things they did together. Little boy things. Nothing serious.

Louis nodded. "So, no new lover boy?" He winked. Harry frowned and shook his head, curls flying around. "I don't do relationships." Was his simple and only answer. But he didn't notice how Louis breathed out in relief.

The boys ate their breakfast in silent, just munching along with some short glances at each other. They put the plates in the sink and Harry disappeared in his room to get changed. Just about five minutes later he came back in simple black skinny jeans (Louis always wondered how Harry's balls could breathe because they were so tight.) and a dark blue sweater. He had his curls back in a little bun and Louis has to hold his shit together not to coo over this cute bun. The elder pulled his phone out of his sweatpants and opened the camera.

"It's time to make some awkward moments unforgettable." Both grinned and made their way to the living room.

Niall and Ed were still asleep on the ground, legs tangled and Ed's face in the crook of Niall's neck. Soft snorts escaped the Irish boy's lips and Harry had to hold back a chuckle when he leaned over to watch them closer. Both boys had some light hickey on their necks. Nothing what would take longer than two days to fade.

Zayn lied on top of Liam, arms wrapped around each other to keep them warm. Liam had a happy little smile on his lips and Zayn just looked like a sleeping angel (like a mixture of a god and an angel). The only thing what showed that they did something dirty were the missing shirts and pulled down pants.

Louis started a video and signed Harry with his thumb up that he could start. Harry leaned closer and tapped Niall on his nose.

"Wakey wakey Nialler." He whispered. "Time for some awkward moments." Niall just tried to swat his hand away before he turned around and pulled Ed closer. Louis rolled his eyes behind the camera. Harry held his hands up in surrender and slapped Niall straight in the face.

"WAKEY WAKEY BITCHES!" Louis screamed, turned the camera and let himself fall down on Zayn who wake up with a very manly squeak.

Niall shot up, looking around; Ed curled himself into a ball to catch some more sleep and Liam groaned because of the extra weigh on top of him. Harry laughed and started tickling Edward to get him awake.

"Watcha doing, you little assholes?" Niall grumbled and rubbed with his hands over his face. "I was sleeping."

"Yeah curled up with Edward." Louis had a shit-eating grin on his face.

Edward held one hand up and pointed at himself. "I'm straight. Still. Definitely." His voice was a little muffled because he still hid his face in his arms.

"I see. Some Harry and Louis bonding time?" Zayn asked and cocked an eyebrow at Louis. "Just as eh... friends." Louis looked to Harry who nodded and smiled.

So they were back to friends. It was a start.


	20. Chapter 19

It was still a little strange to be friends with someone you were once in love with and who was still the only person who could destroy you inside out. But Harry and Louis managed to keep their feelings and hearts out. Just doing stuff together with the other boys. Fooling around, pranking each other, parties or just some lazy movie nights. Simple things. They shared a lot of laugher and silly jokes but Louis was still a little suspicious about Edward.

The blonde boy was often around Harry when they met and they were a little too close for Louis preferred taste. So it was no surprise he once growled at the boy when Edward wrapped his arms around Harry's middle to pull him into a playful cuddle. Everyone noticed Louis tense and they indeed heard his growl but instead of mocking him they smiled and let them be. Harry on the other hand couldn't be more oblivious to what Louis did and how possessive he was about him.

But it can't be overlooked that both boys were way happier than a few month ago. They could be near each other without questioning it or without being questioned by other people. They celebrated Louis birthday together, they light up the sky on New Year's Eve and they worked hand in hand for a surprise party for Zayn's birthday. What both, Louis and Harry, couldn't remember was they even shared their first new year's kiss on point midnight. The other boys knew and remembered it. But they kept it as a secret because it would destroy more now than it would rescue.

When Harry's birthday was about to roll around things got a little awkward when they met at Harry and Zayn's shared flat. It should be all six of them (to Louis dislike they included Edward like he was there from the beginning) but in the end it was only Louis and Harry. Zayn disappeared with the argument he had to buy something and they got a text ten minutes later saying Zayn was going to stay with Liam who got ill out of nowhere. Niall called and excused himself because he was ill too and when Edward called coughing into the phone Harry just rolled his eyes. Little dipshits.

Louis tapped nervously with his tiptoes on the ground. "So it's only us?" He asked a little shy.

Harry sighed. "Yep. Still want to look through the old annual reports?" He ran his fingers through his loose curls and shot a little smile in Louis direction; who made his way to the couch getting comfortable and grabbing the first report flipping through the pages.

The curly haired boy sat down next to the elder and placed to big mugs with hot tea on the table. They flipped through the pages, laughing because of the funny pictures and the faces who tried to look serious. They started a little game with trying to figure out with whom and why the other had hooked up. To be honest the first question was not that difficult. Both boys have been sleeping with nearly everybody who wasn't too young.

Louis pointed at a picture of a guy with red dyed hair and a lip piercing. "Fucked? And if yes, why?" He shot Harry a wide grin. The other boy blushed and hid his face in his hands.

"Eh. Yes. Don't remind me. I was curious how the piercings felt." He mumbled barely hearable. Louis laughed. "Did you just say piercings? So he has more than this one at his lip?" Harry nodded, showing his tongue and pointing at his crotch. Louis hissed as he thought of a piercing in his private area. "Was it worth it?" Harry gave him a small nod before he pointed at another picture.

It went on like this for some time. It was Louis turn again and he saw a picture of the old basketball team. Most of them left the last year but two of the younger ones still attended the school. He eyed the faces and decided to ask Harry about the one lad who was a little smaller but had a mischievous grin on his face; he had left school last year with the others. "Hmm... What about this pretty little boy?"

Harry took the report to get a closer look. He stayed silent for a few minutes and Louis started to think he won't get an answer at all. He was about to flip to the next page when he heard Harry's deep raspy voice.

"Yeah." Louis blinked a few times.

"More than once?" The elder wiggled his eyebrows but was surprised when Harry nodded. Normally Harry would fuck once and then move on to the next one. But this boy seemed to be different. Louis leaned back and watched Harry.

"It went on over weeks before he left the school. He... eh... reminded me of someone." A small smile crept on Harry's plump lips.

"Someone from your past?" Louis asked not knowing if he crossed a line or not.

"Yeah. Ted was the guy's name from the basketball team. He was a sassy little bitch. But that was just one of the things that reminded me of the other guy. He was very special to me. And Ted was so similar but still different. No one was ever like the other one."

"What about the other guy? Ever seen again?" Louis crisscrossed his legs and leaned his chin on his hands.

"Mhm. Sometimes at school. Took long to see him again. But he didn't change, you know? Not at all. He still got his sassy ass. And his laugh. You really should hear it. It was my favourite sound. It still is." He whispered the last part.

"Didn't you try to get in contact with him again?" The corner of Louis lips lifted a little.

"Actually had contact with him. But somehow he managed to break my heart again." Harry gave him a sad smile and turned his attention back to the report.

"What about this curly haired lad?" Harry asked Louis; wanting to change the topic.

Louis took a closer look and his heartbeat stopped for a moment. Harry was pointing at a picture of himself. It was taken in the drama hall. Harry was on one of the audience seats without a shirt and just a bright red snapback on, his curls pushed back.

Louis laughed weakly. "Eh yeah. Well like you said. He also reminded me of someone. A guy from my past. They both looked like each other. Like twins. But this guy here had a completely different character. He was more mature, a grown man. Tattoos and stubble. A body like a man. Abs and muscles. The boy from my past was... yeah. A boy. He was so innocent and just a little ball of sunshine. Someone you had to like as soon as you get to know him. Like a little kitten. You just wanted to pull him into a hug and never let him go. And he was smaller and later the same height as me. But the guy from our school was taller. He was a man, far away from innocent and being like a little kitten. He was strong and always got what he wanted. He still is a heartbreaker, you know? You think twice before you hug him and you surely want to be a friend of him. Sort of a very popular guy at our school. But even if you are friends with him you never know if it's his real self or just some character he made up."

"You miss the boy?" Harry asked quietly.

Louis nodded eagerly. "Of course. Not a day passes without missing him. I would do anything just to be with him again."

"So you left him?"

"One of the biggest mistakes I've ever made." Louis admitted.

"What was your second biggest mistake?" Harry fiddled with his fingers, not daring to look Louis in the eyes.

"Leaving him twice."


	21. Chapter 20

Harry was taken aback from Louis' answer. He never thought Louis would answer that. Or something that would go slightly in the direction of admitting he did something wrong. Louis was never the person to admit he did something wrong. He was too sassy and too in love with himself to admit something like that. As if the amazing perfect Louis Tomlinson could do something wrong. Never.

So saying Harry was slightly surprised, would be a big understatement. He exactly knew they weren't talking about some random people anymore. Both boys knew they were doing the long overdue talk. They never were able to talk about what happened. What went wrong. But if that was the way in which they were able to talk it all out, they were okay with that.

"Why don't you go and tell him?" Harry's deep voice was just a whisper.

Louis just shrugged and his electric blue eyes got watery.

"Because I don't think he would take me back. He has no reason to." Louis smiled. But not his flashing smile with the adorable crinkles under his eyes. It was a sad smile. A smile from a person who knew that what he wanted the most was the thing he could never get at all.

"How do you know that?" Harry scoffed. He got tired. Tired of being left. Tired of fighting. Tired of hoping. Tired of everything. He just wanted that life back he had once. The life with cuddles during movie marathons and nasty pizza because Louis just can't cook and with this freaking amazing sex they had (you can't judge him. It was amazing. Everybody would miss this sex life.)

Louis leaned back and caressed Harry's cheeks with his fingers. So slowly and light Harry wasn't even sure if Louis fingertips touched his skin. But he did and Louis smiled. A light loving smile. Like he was the most perfect person in the world.

Harry grabbed his wrist and his emerald green eyes turned to a darker shade.

"Don't go all romantic and lovey dovey on me; Louis." He growled. He took Louis face in his hands and smashed their lips together. He was so fucking tired of waiting.

A soft gasp escaped Louis lips and Harry slipped his tongue in his mouth; teasing him, exploring his mouth and licking everywhere he could reach. Louis moaned against Harry's lips, holding his hands against his chest, curling his fingers in the fabric of Harry's Shirt and pulling him closer.

Harry pressed more roughly against Louis lips. Like he wanted to burn the feeling of them in his brain. Louis right hand stayed where it was, the other slowly trailed to his hair burring his fingers in Harry's messy bun and destroying it.

Louis pushed Harry against the back of the couch, climbing on his lap and never breaking the kiss. He felt Harry's excitement against his leg and he smiled smugly. Louis kissed his way from Harry's lips over his sharp jawline (looks so fucking hot – you exactly know what I mean) to his ear and he nipped at the shell causing Harry to shiver.

Louis' lips moved lower and lower, to the back of Harry's ear and to his neck. As Louis sucked and licked at the smooth skin of his neck, Harry groaned. The younger boy placed his hands on Louis waist, moving them slightly to his bum and squeezing it. Louis bit down as a reaction and his fingers dig hard in Harry's shoulders.

"Think we could make it to my bed?" Harry asked voice huskily.

Louis shook his head no and reconnected their lips, fingers trailing down to the hem of Harry's shirt, gripping it tightly and pulling it over his head. The curly haired boy gasped as Louis cold fingers slid over his chest, pinching his nipples and going down to his pants.

"You are not fair, Louis. Off with your shirt." Harry commanded and squeezed Louis bum again. The smaller boy rolled his eyes in a sassy manner and pulled his shirt of, tossing it to the ground. 

Louis unbuckled Harry's belt and unzipped his pants. He struggled a little as he tried to yank his own pants off but Harry held him tight to his chest so he couldn't fell off.

While Louis got rid of his too tight pants; Harry sucked and licked at Louis smooth skin, sucking a deep purple bruise.

"Mine." He simply growled against the hot skin. Louis nodded eagerly.

"Yeah. Yours. Just yours." He murmured and his breath hitched as Harry let his big hands slid in his boxers. One finger trailing around his rim, the other hand slowly stroking his hard cock.

"What do you want Louis?" Harry asked, his mouth at Louis neck, sending shivers down his spine.

"Daddy..." Louis whimpered and he tugged on Harry's hair, making the other boy moan against his skin.

And if Harry wasn't aching hard until then; he was now. Like fucking aching hard it hurt. Like hell. He needed relieve.

"How you want it Lou? Rough or soft? Tell me baby." He whispered. Louis whimpered again at the thought of Harry's big cock in him.

"Doesn't matter. Want you now. Please..." He was so needy now. Desperate for any friction and anything that would fill him up. Harry nodded and held two fingers in front of Louis cherry coloured and bitten lips. Without a word the other boy obeyed and started sucking and licking, covering Harry's fingers with salvia so he could open him up.

"Such a good boy." Harry kissed every part of Louis face and hot skin he could reach as he slid a finger in Louis entrance and slowly started moving. A soft moan escaped the other boy.

"More. Daddy you know I can take more." He whispered and pushed his bum back to take Harry deeper.

"Hmmm. I know. But I don't want to hurt you, baby. Need to open you up for my cock." Harry smiled at how desperate Louis was. So submissive he never thought Louis could be like that.

"Big cock. Daddy. Want it." Louis moaned as Harry scissored his fingers in Louis. He wasn't able anymore to form a normal sentence.

Harry held two fingers under Louis chin and turned his face up so he could look him in the eye.

"Baby I want you to suck my cock, okay? Make it all nice and wet." He whispered and placed a last kiss on Louis swollen lips.

The other boy nodded and kneeled on the floor in front of the couch, tugging Harry's pants down. Louis placed his hands on Harry's thighs, spreading his legs apart. Sticking his tongue out Louis licked the slit of the hard cock. He circled the head teasingly before he sucked it in like he would do it with a lollipop.

"Fucking. Stop. Teasing." Harry pressed out between moans.

Harry pushed Louis head down and his lips moved past the head, taking his long cock as far as he could. He gagged and Harry let out a long deep moan. Louis hollowed his cheeks und licked with his tongue the downside of Harrys leaking dick.

"God. Stop it Louis. Otherwise I'm going to cum right there." Harry tried to pull Louis back.

Louis gave Harry's cock a last little kitten lick before he crawled back up to straddle his waist.

Harry pressed his lips to Louis as he lined himself at the other boy's entrance and slowly pushing in. He kissed him and stroked Louis' hard cock to distract him from the pain in his back. Louis moaned and pushed his bum back, taking Harry all in one.

Harry gasped at the feeling of Louis tight warm walls around him, slightly clenching. He wanted to wait to give Louis some time to adjust. But the older boy had other plans.

"Move..." He begged and wiggled his bum.

Harry kept him in place with his hands on his waist. "Louis... you need time. I don't want to hurt you."

"Fucking move, Styles." Louis growled and started bouncing himself.

If Harry doesn't move he would make everything to get some friction.

Harry pushed his hips forward, meeting Louis bounce. Louis whined and dragged his nails down Harry's arms, leaving red marks on his milky skin.

They kept a steady pace, kissing each other from time to time, and moans thrown back into the room by the walls. Both boys felt their climaxes coming, both so close to the edge it just needed a simple push.

Harry pulled back; just the head of his cock in Louis. The other boy frowned and tried to push down, getting him back in and filling him up.

The curly haired lad snapped his hips forward; his cock balls deep in the other boy's body, hitting his sweet spot straight on.

"Fuck. Again!" Louis shouted, throwing his head back, bliss written all over his beautiful face.

Harry moaned lowly at the response, the tightness around his cock and he snapped his hips again, grinding in Louis, hitting his prostate every time now. Louis felt the tight coiling deep in his stomach and he came with a shout of Harry's name, mouth wide open and eyes squeezed shut. He covered his and Harry's stomach in white come.

His hole clenched tight around Harry's cock and pushed him over the edge. He cum into Louis and continued rocking his hips, riding his high out. Louis collapsed against Harry's chest; not caring if he created a bigger mess as it already was.

He felt the younger boy's unsteady breath against his heated skin and his pounding heart against his ribs.

Harry didn't dare to pull out. He just wanted to stay like this forever. It was his kind of perfect. Carefully he let his fingers dance over Louis sweaty back.

"Ask me again." He said, his voice still deep and huskily from all the moaning.

Louis stared at him. Shocked and eyes wide, pupils blown in fear. Fear of rejection.

He slowly shook his head. No. He didn't want to hear it. He never wanted to hear it again. Harry's lie. The lie that broke him. Louis wanted the truth this time.

"Tell me the truth." He whispered. Not his usual request for Harry to lie in his face and telling him he loved him.

If you did something a thousand times you have to do it different the next time. So you keep it special.

Louis expected Harry to answer that he didn't love him. Like all the other times. Tears started running down his face and he held back a sob.

Harry took Louis face in his hands, thumb sliding over his cheekbones and his lips.

A smile crept on his face and he placed a simple kiss on Louis lips. Simple but full with unsaid emotions.

It felt like all the tension disappeared just like this. With this single kiss it felt like a heavy weight was liftet from their shoulders. Finally breathing freely with no lies between them. Just the truth and nothing but the truth.

Everything was supposed to change from this moment on. If you've lost something so often and you have it finally back, you are not letting it go. Forever.

"I've always loved you."


	22. Epilogue

Harry wrapped his arms from behind around Louis waist and leaned his chin on the smaller boy's shoulders. It was nearly a year ago they made it up and started all over again. One year ago since Harry pointed on his own picture in the school report and he confessed he clearly never lied when Louis begged for a lie. He had always loved him.

Louis smiled and turned around to place a short peck on Harry's lips. They could hear the others from the living room laughing and shouting for them to hurry the fuck up because they were starving (guess who said that – Niall ((he's Irish, it's normal for him to curse))) The older boy rolled his eyes and took the pan with the chicken alfredo he managed to cook.

The others cheered when he placed the pan on the table and when they were all munching and silently chewing (except Niall. #1 he's hungry he can't be silent when he's hungry #2 he's Irish ((his excuse for nearly everything)))

"This cooking book for dummies was the best decision as a present, Harry. Never knew you could leave Louis alone in a kitchen without him setting anything on fire." Zayn grinned and Harry smiled fondly at his boyfriend (hell, he'll never get used or tired calling him that).

Louis scoffed. "I haven't set anything on fire for more than a year now!"

Liam nodded thoughtfully. "That's because Harold is doing all the cooking and kitchen stuff." He pointed with his fork in Harry's direction who was grinning like a fool.

It was true. The last time Louis burned something was when he tried to make Harry pancakes. Since then he was banned from every kitchen. They had to tie him down on the couch once because he wanted to help and do something useful. After he smashed two plates and nearly knocked Zayn out with a pan Harry forced him to sit down and tied him down with one of his scarfs.

You can imagine Louis going all sassy and bitchy on Harry the second he realised what the curly haired boy was doing. So Niall warned him if he didn't shut up he'll use his sock as a gag. What a nice way to shut Louis up. (If you wonder: the meal was great and Louis is living in fear of vNiall's socks since that day.)

After the other boys left (Louis and Harry moved in together half a year ago. Liam moved to Zayn and Niall is living his single pringle life.) they did the dishes and settled down on the couch, everyone with a big cup of hot tea in their hands.

Louis was sitting with his back against the couch and Harry's curly haired head in his lap. He ran his fingers through the brown mop of curls and smiled down. A small sigh escaped Harry's plump lips and he turned to press a kiss against Louis stomach.

"Lou...?"

"Hmm, Haz?" Louis hummed and stopped stroking Harry's hair.

Harry poked him. "Hey don't stop that. Eh... I was wondering if... if you could make love to me." He whispered.

Louis blinked a few times. "You want me to fuck you?" He wanted this clear.

Harry shook his head. "No. I want you to make love to me. I fuck you. You make love." He smiled and Louis couldn't do anything against it and smiled back.

"As long as you trust me." Louis answered.

"Yeah, I do. Except one thing..." Harry shifted uncomfortably and sat up to face Louis properly.

"What is it?" Louis got nervous. He wanted Harry to trust him. Completely. Not just a bit. He wanted to be everything Harry needed.

Harry picked at his nails. "Do you want to tell me why you left?" His voice was deep but barely audible. Louis took a deep breath.

"That's a lot you are asking for, you know that?" The younger boy just nodded.

Louis knew Harry deserved to know why he left. Why he was so dumb to erase him out of his life. So he tried to grow some balls.

"So you already know that your dad had a main point here. Well we already discussed it with your mum." Louis hands were uncomfortably roaming over his arms and Harry knew Louis felt them again. The bruises. Every single one.

"And you know I have kind of a lot of sisters. Well I had one more. She was my twin you know? She was perfect. Wonderful blue eyes and long light wavy hair. I loved her to pieces. And she got beaten up. Every. Single. Fucking. Day. And you know when you hit your head just hard enough there could be blood in your brain. And it would start to swell and that stuff. I didn't understand it back then. All I knew was she died because these assholes beat her up and shoved her. She hit her head on a counter and they just laughed. Laughed. She fell into something like a coma. And I was by her side every minute my parents would have let me. I talked to her and touched her hand. Her skin was always so warm and soft. And she was breathing. It looked like she was just sleeping. Her bruises faded. But there was something my parents didn't tell me. She wasn't sleeping. And there was no chance she would ever wake up again. She was brain-dead the second her body hit the ground. She was long gone."

Louis was now sobbing into Harry's chest and the younger boy felt so guilty because he made Louis tell this story. He rubbed the older lad's back, tried to sooth him a little and placed small kisses on his feathery hair.

"Your dad found that out. It was my only weakness. My only fear was to lose my other sisters like I lost my twin. And he told me with every hit he would do this to them if I don't leave. Every bruise remembered me of the promise he gave me. Beating my sisters, repeating what I experienced with losing someone you love so dearly."

His voice broke. And Harry wrapped his arms stronger around Louis, never wanting to let him go again.

"So you did the only logically thing. You left me to protect your sisters. That's brave, Louis. You are brave." Harry whispered in his ear and kissed his temple.

This night it wasn't Harry fucking into Louis. This night it was Louis making love to Harry. Everything what was hovering over them, what could have destroyed them was gone. There was nothing left what could tear them apart. Nothing what could turn down the love they felt for each other.

It was just the simple perfect ever after Harry had always wished for himself. And Louis was the person who gave it to him.

It was a perfect forever after until everything changed and their biggest wish – never wanting to leave each other again – didn't seem so easy anymore.


End file.
